Lately he and I have been getting closer, we have been texting, speaking more. He's so amazing, he has like this whole new perspective, it's like even though we're in the same situation he keeps bringing in new thoughts, he makes me feel almost complete.
We went on a date last Tuesday. I hate to say it but I felt the butterflies, I had the starstruck feeling. Our date took place back at the fountain, because where else would be better than where we had our first meeting. And similarly to the first time we met, we sat. And we talked. We laughed. And at three in the morning we stumbled back to my apartment in a daze. Our loud and obnoxious laughter illuminating the dark streets.
Enough with all that gloomy rubbish. Back to fountain boy, he's great and all, however he's still a little touchy with certain things. Like if I mention his family he snaps then ignores me for a few days. It's okay. I get it, somethings are really personal, I just with he would have more faith in me, that he wouldn't think I'm dong it for the gossip. As if. He's my only friend. I ask because I care.
But little by little I'm getting there- wherever there is.
But, sadly, not all is good. Yes, he's fixing me, and I'm becoming happy, but somethings missing. The days we don't speak it's like I lose all progress and I'm back to the girl I once was, the girl I despised. It's not that I do anything tremendously bad, just small habits I can't break, at least not yet. But it scars me deeply. I can feel every breakdown chipping the wall of progress that he builds. He has no idea. He thinks I'm over it- yes he may be sceptical about my mental health, but for the most part he thinks I'm perfectly okay. And that's just fine with me.
Out of sight out of mind.
