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Chapter 25

Claire

    School was flying by and slowly, I found myself forgetting about Carter who broke my heart. Slowly, I stopped caring about Blair who betrayed me. We hadn't talked in weeks and I couldn't care less. If she was willing to hurt me the way she did, she wasn't my sister.

I sat outside on a bench and waited for Ryder who was buying his lunch. In the past few weeks, we had gotten much closer. Instead of hanging out in the cafeteria with our friends, we chose to go outside and spend time together. It was nice and I was growing to really like Ryder. He had always been one of my closest friends, but slowly he was becoming my best friend.

Ryder finally came and I smiled at him as he walked towards me. He grinned back immediately and I felt warm inside. There was something so calming about Ryder. He was always so full of smiles and with everything that happened, it was refreshing.

"Hey," I said as he sat down.

"Hey," he said. "What have you been up to?"

"Nothing, just thinking about how we have three months left of high school. Isn't that crazy."

"It is. It feels like just yesterday senior year started."

It really did, I thought. Just yesterday, it felt like I was in love with Carter, wishing to have a chance with him. Just yesterday, it had also felt like I had been missing Blair, wishing I hadn't ruined our bond. Things had changed so much and I was left to sigh, knowing senior year wasn't what I expected it to be. I hadn't achieved any of my goals.

"You know, Tori was asking about you," Ryder said. "She was wondering why you're never in the cafeteria."

I blushed, not knowing what to say. There was a reason to why I avoided the cafeteria, but it was a reason I preferred to keep to myself.

"Because I like spending time with you, out here," I said, smiling.

"That's sweet and all, but seriously Claire." Ryder's eyebrows rose. "You wouldn't come with me to buy lunch. Are you avoiding her?"

My cheeks turned warmer because he had caught on. I was avoiding Tori and all of my other friends. After the way they treated me when I had been hurt by what Blair did, I felt distant from them. I felt like I didn't know them as well as I thought I did.

"I don't blame you for avoiding them," Ryder said, surprising me. "After the way they treated you - actually, after the way they've alway treated you, I'm glad you finally realized they don't deserve you as a friend."

His words surprised me. Staring at him, I wondered what he meant.

"Let's be honest, Tori and Jake aren't the nicest of people. Maya is okay, but... She's a crowd follower. She does whatever Tori and Jake do," Ryder said. "I hang out with them because I've known Jake since we were kids, but honestly I'm sick of how they treat others. Especially after the way they treated you, I'm done with them."

I didn't know what to say. They were all my friends and hearing what Ryder said left me uneasy. But the truth was, I couldn't deny his words. Tori and Jake were often rude and Maya did whatever they did. I had ignored all of the bad things they did, making excuses for them, but I had finally seen their true colours after the way they treated me.

"You're right," I admitted. "Wow, I can't believe I thought of Tori as my best friend. I can't believe I supported any of them when they were nothing but bullies. I feel... I feel like I messed up my high school experience. What a waste of four years."

That was what was on my mind and I finally confessed it. After having my heart broken, learning my friends were fake, and having my sister betray me, I felt like high school was not the best four years of my life. In fact, I realized that high school might have been the worst four years of my life. I had lost so much and had to pretend to be someone I wasn't by pretending to never have a care in the world, which left me feeling empty. With a sigh, I realized I had wasted four years of my life.

"Hey, look, I know things are hard. I know that sometimes things suck," Ryder said. "But high school is a time for learning. As lame as it sounds, it's where people make mistakes and find themselves through them. So yes, high school isn't perfect. It isn't the best four years of our lives. But, it's the time to grow and realize that every time you fall you'll climb back up. Claire, you will."

My eyes widened as I stared at Ryder, stunned by his words. Honestly, I never expected him to be so wise. I had always thought of him as a jock, but he was far from that. As we grew closer, I had come to realize that a lot of us had much more depth than we showed. Maybe one of our biggest flaws as people was our inability to show people who we really are.

"Wow," I said, amazed. "Seriously Ryder, when were you so wise?"

"I don't know," Ryder said, looking sheepish. "I guess I'm coming to realize that life is too short and that I need to start acting."

Ryder was absolutely right. Life was too short. It was too short to think about the past and to let it devour you. Sometimes you just had to look at your past mistakes and heart break, and think about them as lessons. Smiling at Ryder, I realized that was what I had to do.

"You're absolutely right. I'm not just going to stand here and let myself brood over what happened," I said. "I'm going to just keep moving and let these last few months be awesome."

Ryder grinned. "Sounds great."

We smiled at each other for a moment and I found myself growing thankful for Ryder's presence. Without him, I would probably be stuck in bed crying about everything that had happened. But thanks to him, I was learning so much about life in general. I really hoped that we would never stop talking.