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Chapter 4

Blair

I threw the doors leading to outside open and squinted my eyes as the suns rays shone down on me. Looking for some shade, I saw a spot with a roof and went to it, wanting to be all alone. With my face feeling incredibly warm and my heart racing with nerves, I knew I needed to sit and calm down.

I went over to the shade and sat down. Pressing my back to the wall, I closed my eyes and pulled my knees to my chest, wishing I could disappear momentarily. I couldn't believe Carter did that to me. After how obvious I had been about wanting him to leave me alone, I couldn't believe he announced to the world that he liked me. He knew I hated attention too, which only made it worse because from his actions, it seemed like he didn't respect me enough to not bring attention to me.

Sighing, I hung my head and found myself tearing up. Taking a deep breath in, I forced myself to calm down. Nobody cared, I hoped. Everyone would leave me alone, I prayed. As someone who hated drama and hated any sort of attention, I really hoped I would be okay.

After a couple of deep breaths, I found myself relaxing. My face no longer felt hot and stretching out my legs in front of me, I groaned. I hated how emotional I got when it came to attention. I had no idea why I despised attention so much, especially with my twin sister being someone who was always the centre of attention. It was strange and shaking my head, I decided that enough was enough. I was about to have my final year at Valerie High and I was't going to let Carter ruin it.

So with shaky hands, I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts. Finding Carter, I let my thumb hover over the call option as I wondered what I was doing. I hated confrontations. I hated talking to people in general, so I stared at the phone and wondered if it was worth it. But knowing Carter wasn't taking the hint from my subtle gestures, I knew I had to be straight up and tell him that I wasn't interested. Maybe then he would leave me alone.

Knowing it might be wrong to tell him I wasn't interested through a call, I decided to suck up my fear of confrontations and I texted him to meet me after school in our Science classroom. Almost immediately he replied, saying okay. My heart began to race at that.

*****

I was in our science class, waiting for Carter. Because I was so nervous, I was pacing next to the teacher's desk. In my mind I kept repeating the words I would say to him.
   
     Suddenly, the door opened and I whirled to see who had entered. Carter had and his eyes were on me, looking so full of yearning that I found myself guilty. He really did like me, I realized. Looking down, I knew it was all my fault. It was all because I let what happened in summer happen.

Carter walked towards me. But remembering that someone could see us, I jogged over to the door. I opened it and looked around at the hallway and saw that it was empty. I relaxed at that, knowing no one could know that Carter and I spoke.

"Blair," Carter said. "I-"

Whirling around, I cut in and said, "Why would you do that to me? You know I hate attention, so how could you?"

"I'm so sorry," he said, sounding sincere. "I just couldn't contain my feelings anymore. I just blew up and I'm really, really sorry. I swear it won't happen again."

I stared at him, knowing Carter was a sweet guy. A very emotional guy, too. He often acted on feelings rather than logical thinking, so I knew I really shouldn't be mad at him.

"I really like you Blair," Carter said, leaving my heart freezing. "Seriously, I have never felt this way about anyone. None of my previous girlfriends have made my heart feel... Like this."

I stared at him, feeling horrible because it was time. It was time for me to reject him and break his heart. Deep down I felt horrible. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but I really had no choice.

"Carter..." I began, not knowing what exactly to say. "I'm sorry, but-"

"You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen," Carter cut in, stepping forward. "You are so smart and sweet and kind. Everything about you is so amazing. I have never met a girl like you before and I'm not going to let you get away. A catch like you is worth fighting for."

His incredibly sweet words left me feeling stunned. His hazel eyes were on my own blue eyes, expressing so much love that I found myself frozen. All of his words sounded so honest and honestly, I was touched. His word made my heart warm.

No one paid much attention to me. Growing up, everyone showered Claire with compliments. They always told her that she was beautiful, sweet, funny, and so much more. The only compliment I ever got was that I was so quiet, and I wasn't even sure if that was a compliment. So because of that, Carter's words meant so much to me.

"Any guy would be lucky to have you," Carter said, gently putting his hand on my cheek. "So I'm going to fight for you. I'm going to make you my girlfriend and show you off to the world."

Staring at him, I found myself giving in. Just like in summer, when Carter had brushed my hair behind my ear and told me I was beautiful, I found myself having no restraints because I had always wanted to hear those words. I had always wanted to feel like I was something incredible after having no one think much of me.

"Don't tell me what happened in summer meant nothing to you," Carter then whispered, leaving me with pleasant chills at the memory of it.

Carter and I stared into each other's eyes for a bit more. And before I knew it, I was grabbing his shirt and pulling him to me, kissing him so passionately that he groaned. Thankful that the door was closed and the school was empty, I found reenacting what happened in summer.