I was going to do a rant for drama, but I've decided I have other things going on that are way more important right now... Things that are really worth the stress, more or less...
There is just so much stress in my life right now. My family is getting close to having no money whatsoever. I've been stressing lately about how we're going to make ends meet and how the hell the future that is approaching at a fast rate will even work. The light at the end of the tunnel is very dim right now... It's there... but it is really really dim.
Academically, I'm basically set for my future. I can handle that much. I have one less thing on a very long list to worry about. I least I hope I'm prepared in that respect...
And I've got a whole other situation stressing me right now. I found out yesterday that one of my best friends has been getting abused by her Mom for awhile... She had so much going on, and she didn't tell me. She's really good at hiding it.
I just feel like a horrible person for not knowing. I don't see her much since we don't have classes together, but I can usually tell. I knew something was up when I saw her yesterday at school. She seemed fine, but I knew the smile on her face was hiding something. I should know since I give that same smile everyday... And when she texted me later and told me how things have been going for her this year, I just cried. The fact that I haven't been able to be there for her has really depressed me.
It just sickens me that she's even been abused in any way... She really has had a pretty decent life comparatively, but it just sucks so much. I would never want that for any of my friends after all I've been through. If I ever go to her house again, I will just glare at her mom. I won't say anything, but her mom has lost any respect she had.
I honestly want to pull her out of her house and have her come live with us. The fact that she is even allowed at her house right now disgusts me. The only problem is we can't take care of her. She couldn't live with us because we can barely take care of ourselves... I want to protect her, but I just feel so hopeless... I'm still in disbelief...
Why do the worst things happen to the best people? It just doesn't make sense...
I will make an effort to get her out of her house more often, though. I'm going to try and hang out with her just to make sure for myself that she isn't hiding getting hit.
Almost everyone I know has been abused in some way in there life... and I swear to God that if anyone even thinks about hurting my best friend... I swear I will kill them...
I hate abuse so much.
