Magicanimalclub: 2 : What Happened?

Care

--DAVIDS POV--
"I'm sorry about your wife."
"I'm sorry about your wife."
"I'm so sorry about your wife.."
-I'm sorry about your-"

I hated this.
I hated this funeral so much.
I couldn't bring myself to speak. I couldn't even look in the coffin.
I felt like I had lost my only friends, no one knew who I really was anymore.. But.. Beth.

Beth and Emily walked up to me and my family.
"I could say I'm sorry about your wife but I'm assuming absolutely everyone in this room has already said that to you a thousand times." Beth said, I smiled and rolled my eyes, Beth sighed, "I know how you feel, pet." She said, patting my back and biting her lip.
"Thanks for coming." I told her. Looking down at the ground, trying to see some happiness.
"Are the kids okay?" She asked,
"They.. They should be fine after some time. They've all refused counselling.. They said they just need time." I told her. Exhaling with sorrow.
"Are you okay?" She asked me.
"Yeah.." I sighed, "I'm just.. Confused."
"Confused about what?"
"Oh.. Life. I didn't think it would disappear this quickly." I said,
"But you've still got a long time ahead of you... Don't you?" She asked me, I couldn't just tell her: I needed Nicole, I needed to tell Nicole how I felt.
I just smiled at Beth, leaving her question open ended. She didn't know that I was slowly forgetting everything. She didn't know how awful I felt.

During the 'after party' I told Ash that I needed some air: and so, I walked outside of the hall into the cool dark night. Somehow a graveyard at night didn't feel so 'spooky' or 'haunting'. I walked between the gravestones until I caught sight of Joe's name. I dipped my head as a sign of respect but then, for the first time, moved on. I moved on from Joes gravestone to the newly laid grave. With a small cross with my wife's full name implanted on it. "Elizabeth Nicole.." I sighed. Kneeling down on the wet ground: A night of a thousand stars.
I looked up at the constellations and focused on the stars that were difficult to see, wondering how long ago did that star form? And has it already burned to nothing? Like me.. How much have I forgotten? How much of my adventures have been lost and locked inside my mind vault? How old am I? When did I start YouTube? How many subscribers... YouTube- it's still my job, right? I mean it's been twenty odd years but I never 'quit'... But..
I exhaled as the elephant in the room stomped towards me: Joe sat down beside me and put his hand on my shoulder,
"I can't carry on without you." I told him, "I can't."
"But I'll be there- I always am, I'm your friend." His last words were.. Something like that.
"But Emily.. She wouldn't want to really take over your channel, would she?" I asked him,
Stampy shrugged his shoulders and smiled at me. But I couldn't smile in this atmosphere. I was sitting in a graveyard talking to myself- anyone else would find it freaky, an elderly man looking up at the gravestone of his beautiful, dead wife.

"I can't look after my kids.. I can't admit to them that I've got dementia.. I can't admit anything.." I whispered to Joe. With tears in my eyes.
But Joe looked at the gravestone.. What would Nicole think of me not looking after them.. I love my kids more than anything else in the entire world, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them. I can give them all my belongings, my money, my channel but that means nothing if I can't simply take care of them.

I was startled when Ash, Rosie and James walked up behind me and sat down beside me In front of the grave.
"Hello." I said, blankly smiling at my children. They smiled back.
We were in this together, we had both lost someone that we adored. We couldn't just get over it, but we would stand together: for Nicole.

--BETH's POV--
As I saw David's children leave him outside in the graveyard, I felt as though reality just hit me: Nicole was gone.. I thought of all the memories that she had, she was part of the friendship group. Me and her had so much fun, we laughed about the kids and we filmed the boys when they were sleep talking after drinking far too much... She was gone.
I walked outside to where David was with tears in my eyes.
"Dave I'm- " he looked up at me with emotional pain in his eyes, he then stood up and faced me.
"You.." He began before I hugged him. "You know this pain?" He asked me.
He seemed incredibly unwell. Like he was constantly revising his English vocabulary over and over in his head.
"Are you okay?" I asked him, he sighed and wiped his face,
"I'm fine.." He said.
"No. Are you okay." I asked him, putting my hands on his shuddering shoulders.
His eyes could say a thousand words in just one blink.
I felt as if I knew everything now..
"I am here for you." I told him, facing Nicole. "I promise you that if you need anything at all, I'll be there."
He touched my hand, shaking,
"Would you like to come inside now?" I asked him, putting on hand on his back, steadying him.
"I might just drive home."
"Drive? Are you sure you're okay to?" I asked him,
"I'm fine.. I'll get the kids-"
"I'll drop the kids home." I offered,
"Would you?" He asked me, his little eyes looking up with anxiety.
"Of course, now you be safe Dave." I told him, worried about him. He nodded and walked over to his black jaguar and slowly drove away.
Inside I really hoped he'd be okay. He seemed so distracted, so alone, so upset. I wasn't sure how long he had left, I just morally knew that I needed to take care of his family, and most of all, take care of David.