In The Supernatural

Chapter 24

Sam came back the next day early in the morning. He didn't say anything about it. In fact, for the next week, he didn't say anything to me unless it was absolutely necessary. I felt awful and I wanted to talk to him about it, but I couldn't. The guilt was eating me alive. My chest hurt constantly and I couldn't tell if I was having panic attacks again or if it was just temporary bone-crushing sadness. 

The boys were out looking for information on the war I had told them about, although I wasn't able to get too specific because I didn't even know much about it, besides the fact that there was a war. They were at libraries (or so they said) and I was left (once again) at the mercy of Cas.

"I'm so bored," I told him in a dead-pan voice. Cas just sighed and nodded his head in agreement. "Maybe," I suggested, "we can do some research on our own, huh?"

He looked at me with the most annoyed expression. "You know we can't do that, Jules. For the third time tonight, you need to stay here."

I smiled sweetly. "I didn't say that I had to be the one to go and do research. I won't leave again. I promise. I'm just... I'm so bored. Could you at least go out into the world and get something for us to talk about?" 

"Fine." Castiel disappeared from my eyesight for approximately .02 seconds before he showed up a foot closer to me."The birds are extra loud right now."

"Cas, I'm serious."

"I know. I was too." He smiled but then disappeared again for an even longer time. He opened his hands and a butterfly flew out. "You see this, Jules? Do you want to know the butterfly means?" He asked, his voice filled with quiet wonder that wasn't there before. The only times I heard him talk like this was when he was marveling at "god's creations".

I wasn't even particularily interested, but I didn't want to make him feel bad, so I pretended I cared. "No, I don't. What does it mean?"

"Butterflies," he said, "are primarily associated with change. transformation, and beauty..." He stared in awe as the blue and black polkadot wings of the small butterfly fluttered around the room. "If you touch a butterfly's wings, it won't die, like many people think. But it will not fly. It will not... be able to show how beautiful it can be..." 

Cas stopped talking and his face scrunched up. "Sorry, I know you probably don't care. Anyways... I have to go. The boys are outside." And just like usual, he left without letting me say goodbye to the person I would consider my best friend.

Not that I had many friends to begin with. 

Sam walked through the door first, and Dean followed quickly behind. Dean was basically bouncing with excitement. "I think we have something," he sang.

As Dean spread some papers across the other smooth, clean bed, I shot out of the position I was currently it and danced to where Dean was. Sam didn't say anything and my heart dropped again but I tried to not let it get to me because I could tell they had some really good news.

"What is it?" I asked out loud.

"Okay," said Dean, "We think it's a war. I mean obviously there's a war, but we think it's a war between the demons, like who is going to take over hell as ruler. I'm not sure about that, but I've heard things and talked to people that have told me this. This isn't quite as good news, but the gun? It changes whoever gets shot with it. We aren't sure how exactly it changes them, but it makes them stronger in every way, and there have been some angels that have died. Only angels can kill angels, so this thing must make them stronger than anglels." He looked up at me to see my reaction.

All I said was, "Where's the gun?"

His smile faltered a bit. "I don't know."

"I do." I turned around and Castiel was back.