In The Supernatural

Chapter 23

The clock read midnight when I was awoken by Sam and Dean walking through the door, trying to be quiet by stifling their laughter but failing miserably. I was too tired to move, but  my mind was fully awake as I heard Castiel stand up and move towards the boys, probably getting ready to leave. 

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"Personal space."

"Right."

I almost snorted but held it back because I wanted to eavesdrop further. 

"How was she?" Dean asked, his voice a little lower than usual. 

 Cas responded in a blank and emotionless voice. "She was just as she normally is. You could have just left and she would have slept the entire time, you know. She fell asleep two hours after you guys left."

"But Dean said she was asleep all day. Right, Dean?" Sam said.

"I did, yeah. But she did just come back from the dead. That tends to tire a person out. We both know that... But that's not why I wanted you to watch over her. I just want to make sure she's safe, you know?" There was an intense honesty I rarely heard in Dean's voice as he said that, like he thought there were more people, or things, after me.

"Yeah."

It was quiet for a few seconds. I could feel the tension slightly growing each second, and soon it was so uncomfortable I had to switch my position.

Dean decided to break the silence. "You know, I was thinking... Maybe we should give Jules's dad's memory back. Maybe we could have them see eachother again. Just for a few minutes, not to too long. Only for closure for Jules, because even though she hasn't said anything about it, I know she misses him. Then we can take it away again."

My eyes squinted open. Cas's back was blocking my view from Dean, but Sam was fully in my view. His features were stony and he shifted his body a bit backwards, as if trying to hide himself.

He said in a wary tone, "How would you know she's missing him? She just got back yesterday."

"She always has, even before she left." His voice cracked on 'left'. He coughed to cover it up.

"That's not a good idea," Cas responded without missing a beat. "I don't like that idea."

"Why not?"

"For several reasons, actually. For one, we don't know what kind of things are after her, or where they are. A second reason is that she is fine right now. Is she completely happy with her situation right now? No, I don't think so. But she's dealing. She needs protection, not sympathy, and sometimes those things can come hand in hand."

Sam's head bobbed up and down, agreeing with Cas. My heart burned.

Dean got defensive. "She can have both. It's not like I'm going to just drop her off and tell her I'll see her in a week. I'll be right there next to her. Don't be stupid."

"No, Dean," Cas growled. "You don't be stupid. You're thinking of dragging her to somewhere that already has a huge possibility of danger. Why do you think that's a good idea?"

Their banter went back and forth for several minutes until Sam, who had backed up against the wall, groaned and said, "Dean, I'm sorry, man. But I think Cas is right. We don't have the time or security to do that. I'm sorry, Dean. I know you want to make her happy, but what she needs is to be alive. I'm sorry."

Dean, who had previously been practically yelling, stopped and froze. He had been leaning forward in anger, but suddenly he stepped back. In such a quiet voice that I had to strain my ears to hear, he said, "Can we at least give her the choice?"