The Fault in our Stars: A Sequel

Chapter 17

*Gus's POV*

"Is she going to be okay?" I ask my grandparents who are sitting in the waiting room with me. I have always known my mom had cancer and I know that one day we are all going to die, but what I didn't know is that my mom could die so soon and suddenly. My dad wasn't around when I was born, so I have not a clue on anything about him, other than what I have been told and from the pictures I have seen. My mom has told me that she will try to stay with me for as long as possible, but sometimes the worse will happen and you have to learn to accept it. 

"She isn't going to die, Gus." my grandma says. She gives me a tight squeeze on the shoulder and kisses my forehead. 

"Your mom is strong and she won't leave you." grandpa says. I give him a fake smile and lean my head back against the chair, waiting for a visit by the doctor who will hopefully say my mom is awake and I can go talk to her and then take her home where we will continue reminiscing. 

Hours have gone by and there hasn't been one doctor who has told us we can see my mom. I am afraid she isn't going to remember me, or that she won't be able to breath, or talk, or do anything! I have been trying not to think of the worst, but sometimes I get so scared. My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations. I always look through my mom's book that she reads constantly. I love reading the quotes that she writes in them. Sometimes I want to write my own quotes in her book, but I am afraid she will get mad at me for peaking in her book. She never told me I can't touch it.

"Mr. and Mrs. Lancaster?" I hear a voice say. I open my eyes and look at the lady standing in front of us. 

"Is she okay? Can I see her?" I ask the lady. She looks at me and sighs. I get scared, because she didn't smile and still hasn't replied, but maybe I am just impatient. 

"She is okay, but she isn't able to see visitors due to her condition. She will be able to have visitors tomorrow morning." the lady says. I put my head down and pull my legs up to my chest and I hold them tightly. Of course she isn't in good condition. Of course! Sometimes I wish I could beat cancer out of her, but I can't.

"It's okay, Gus." my grandma says. "We can see her tomorrow morning as soon as possible." 

I look up at her and nod. She gets up and takes my hand. We walk towards the double glass doors that lead to the parking lot where our car is parked. I was hoping my mom would be in the car with us, but I guess we are all alone for now.

After we parked our car in the garage and I ran up to my room, I sat on my bed and cried. My grandparents tried to comfort me and tell me she is going to be okay, but I don't know if I can believe them. All I can do is try. 

My grandparents tried to put me to bed, but I ended up pretending to sleep. I got out of bed when they weren't near and I went to my mom's room. I closed the door and slipped my hand under her pillow and pulled out the old book she always reads. I sat on her bed and opened it up, looking through all the new quotes my mom has added. I flip through the book until I see the quote I said over and over again today. As a rebelious ten year old, I grabbed the pen from her nightstand and wrote something next to it. 

"Gus? Would you like to go see your mom?" I wake up to great words that make me want to get up and scream with excitement. I pop out of my bed and run to my dresser when I realize I am not in my room. I am in my mom's and the book is on the floor, open.

"You fell asleep in here" my grandpa says. My eyes widen and I walk to my room without saying anything. My grandparents follow me. 

"So we can see her now?" I ask. My grandparents nod and I shoo them out so I can get dressed and visit my mom. I put on some jeans and a t-shirt. I don't understand how to match my outfits, but all that matters is that I have clothes on. 

I skip breakfast and hop in the car with my grandparents. The drive to the hospital feels like forever, but as I see it come to view, I get so excited I thought I was going to wet my pants. 

"Lets go!" I yell as I hop out of the car and run up the the glass doors. My grandparents yell at me to wait up, but I run in. They quickly follow behind me and talk to some lady at the counter. They grab my hand, but I deny it. I walk in front of them, taking the lead, as the nurse takes us to my mom.

"Mom?" I ask when we walk into a room. I move the curtain aside and see my mom in the hospital bed. She is connected to a lot of tubes and I hear a lot of beeping and weird noses. I see her smile and run up to her. She weakly gives me a hug and I gently hug her back, because my grandparents had made sure I knew that she was weak and I had to be careful. 

"I missed you," she said. I notice the tears in both of our eyes and we both giggle. 

"I missed you too. I am happy you are okay." I say. " I brought you something." I go to my grandma and reach into her purse. I pull out the book and give it to my mom.

"My book," she says. She holds it close to her and reaches for me with one of her arms and hugs me tightly. "Thank you." 

"I wrote something in it." I say. She looks surprised and opens it up. She flips through the pages until she sees my big writing.