Chapter 34

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Liam’s POV

I fell asleep. I hadn’t meant to, but it was just so comfortable. She was warm and her breath had slowed to a deep rhythmic sound until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. I’m vaguely aware of Tom putting Lux to sleep and noticing the two of us, but I’d been half asleep at the time and didn’t move at all. I’m awoken in the middle of the night when she starts moving though. At first, I think she’s slipping off to her own bed, but when I blearily open my eyes, I see she’s still asleep. It was a nightmare, I realize. I don’t know what I expected. Maybe that, if I was here, the nightmares would go away. But that just happens in stories. People aren’t miraculously cured of their troubles just because others are around. This was real. I take hold of her hand again, having let go if it while asleep, and pull her closer. She doesn’t make a sound, but I can see her face contorted in pain. I didn’t know what to do. How could you help someone when the hurt is in their head? It’s not something you could just go to the doctor for or take some medicine.

“It’s ok. I’m here,” I whisper into her ear repeatedly. It doesn’t happen instantly, but slowly, over the next 10 minutes or so, I feel her relax again. I don’t fall asleep right away though. I take a moment to look around, hearing the sounds of the people in the bunks around me’s deep breathing. Part of me wonders what time it is, but I’m not about to roll over to check my phone. It doesn’t matter anyways. It was dark, that’s all I needed to know. So instead I start humming. It’s random at first, but it’s not long until I start recognizing that I’m humming an actual song, and it’s not long after that until I place it. Your Guardian Angel. I don’t know what surprises me more, the type of song I’d picked, or the fact I’d picked one I hadn’t heard in over a year. I halt halfway through the song, feeling a bit unsettled about it all. I try to brush it off as I close my eyes and try to fall back asleep.

 

“Jesus Christ you snore like a freight train,” Elodie grumbles, waking me up with a shove a couple hours later. The sun is up and she’s pushing my arm off her as she sits up. Frankly, I’m still half asleep so it takes me a moment to register the fact that she’s getting up, never mind what she’s said.

“You alright?” I manage to ask instead.

“Yea. Why wouldn’t I be?” she asks as she begins looting through her suitcase for what to wear today.

“You had a nightmare last night.” She instantly freezes.

“No I didn’t,” she says stiffly, not turning around to look at me.

“Yea, you sta--”

“No,” she interrupts spinning around to glare at me. “I didn’t. And I swear to god if you tell anyone I’ll cut your balls off.” I dumbly nod my head, surprised by the reaction.

“I wouldn’t ever do that,” I say with a shake of my head and I watch as her anger falters a bit before she turns back around to her suitcase. “You know… if you want to talk about it…”

“I’m fine,” she snaps. I didn’t understand what was happening. We’d been getting along so well recently, but now she was directing all this anger at me. What had I done wrong?

 

Elodie’s POV

He kept trying to talk to me and it was just making my skin crawl. Why couldn’t he just go away? Didn’t he see I wanted to be left alone? Part of me reminds myself that he’s only trying to help and he doesn’t know what’s wrong, but I ignore that part. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep like that last night. I’d read the song he’d wrote about me and I don’t know… it left me feeling sad and yet at the same time, not. Was that really how he saw me? I blame it on the head injury, but I ended up curled up with his arm around me. It felt different. Something I definitely wasn’t used to, but it kept me from thinking too much and I ended up falling asleep. When I woke up and realized what I’d done, I just wanted to get out of there. Unfortunately, there’s only so far you can go when on a moving bus. My solution was to join the rest of the group in the main room, where he wouldn’t be able to corner me in a private conversation. It worked, although I could tell he wasn’t happy about it as he watched me play with Lux. When we got to the venue, I made sure I was busy, even going as far as doing a bit of the homework Liz had been hounding me to do for the past week and a half. I sat there, doing homework until I realized I was sitting there doing homework to avoid talking to someone. I’m so disgusted with myself that I drop the pencil and push away from the desk. I dig around in my bag until I find the cigarette pack and lighter before heading out the dressing room door to find a back exit. There’s a door propped open and I push it further open, expecting to find Zayn out on a smoke break also. I’m startled when I see Liam out there also and upon seeing me their conversation ceases immediately.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean-” I say quickly, obviously having just interrupted their conversation.

“No it’s fine,” Liam says quickly, cutting me off.

“I can go-”

“No. Stay.” he says quickly.

“Yea, we were done talking. I’ve got to go anyways.” Zayn adds, dropping his cigarette and putting out the butt with his foot. He leaves and I realize I’ve been left alone with Liam and I curse myself for getting in this position. I attempt to ignore him as I pull out a smoke and light it.

“How’s your head feeling?” he asks after a moment of silence.

“Fine, thanks,” I reply, avoiding eye contact.

“That’s good,” he says quietly. “Sorry again for that.” I nod and we trail off into silence again. “So last night…”

“It was an accident,” I say abruptly. “It shouldn’t have happened.”

“Of course,” he answers and I glance up to see him nodding. There’s a heavy feeling in my stomach at his quick agreement. I guess he just didn’t know how to kick me out of his bed last night without being mean. Made sense with how much he’d been tiptoeing around me lately.

“Good,” I confirm. I look back down as silence reigns again and I find myself wondering why he was still out here. The silence stretches on and I find myself wishing he’d either say something or leave. I was growing more and more uncomfortable. The door pushes open again and my head snaps around to see who it was.

“Oh am I interrupting something?” Louis asks, eyeing the two of us.

“No, nothing,” I say with a shake of my head. He nods his head, glancing over at Liam to see if he confirmed that.

“Well Lou is calling for you,” he finally says to me. “She wants to dye Niall’s hair before the show so you’re supposed to help Caroline with the clothes. She says you’ll know what to do. I nod, taking one last drag from the cigarette before dropping it and stomping it out. “Also, we’ve got the afternoon off tomorrow.  We can go see the movie then yea?”

“Whatever,” I mutter, brushing past him to go find Caroline before Liam has time to comment. The two of them appear in the dressing room a few minutes after I got back, but I do my best to ignore them. The second I’m done helping out, I convince one of the security to take me back to the hotel. I hadn’t stayed in a hotel in a while. Lou had been right. The busses had essentially become home. It meant not having to carry things back and forth and a familiar bed every night. But tonight, I wanted the room to myself. To not have to deal with other people. I got my room and locked myself in, and pulled out my sketchbook, drawing for the rest of the night and ignoring when I heard everyone come back. It was what I’d done for years. Ignoring those around me unless I was at a club or drunk. I’d liked it better that way. Tonight though, as I blasted music through my headphones and I sketched those damn eyes, it felt different. Being alone was lonely. And I hated myself for it as I look down at the finished product, having stayed up way too late finishing it, before ripping it out, crumpling it up, and tossing it in the trash before going to bed.

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For every two steps forward, there's a step back. For as much as she is healing, she thinks she doesn't want it. Hope you all like it so far. Next chapter will be the double date with Louren. Let me know what you think so far.

Link on the side of the song Liam had been humming and then the picture Elodie drew.

Dedication to StoneStar6314.

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