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Are you insane like me?

♡♡♡

M A R C I E

He pointed the gun at my head and counted to three. Then took it away and put it to his own head.

He fired it and fell to the ground, blood seeping from his head.

I woke up with sweat dripping from my forehead. The voices were echoing in my mind and I tried to get rid of them.

I gripped on my hair and screwed my eyes shut, rocking back and forth. They were everywhere, they got louder and louder everyday and I couldn't make them stop. Why won't they stop?

Laying back in bed, I looked up at the ceiling. My foster parents covered the ceiling in glow in the dark starts, thinking that it would make the nightmares go away.

The only thing that will make them go away is if I do what the voices are telling me.

"Marcie? Marcie? Wake up sweetie we're going out today." My foster mum, Mary, yelled from downstairs.

I barely got back to sleep last night and my head is pounding. I put my fluffy socks on and went downstairs in my white, cotton pyjama shorts and my turquoise tank top.

Mary looked up when she heard me walk downstairs and smiled. "Hey sweetie. I made you pancakes." I sat at the kitchen island and she placed the pancakes in front of me. "We're going to the zoo today."

Mary and Jonathan were my foster parents. I was put into the system about five years ago and have been to around fifteen foster homes within those five years. All of them thought I was crazy.

Mary and Jonathan have been taking care of me for two years. They couldn't have children of their own so they turned to fostering and found me. I'm surprised at how long they've managed to put up with me. They're both extremely nice people and always look out for me; I don't deserve an ounce of their kindness.

"Good morning ladies." Jonathan walked into the kitchen and kissed Mary on the cheek. "How did you sleep last night Marce?"

I shrugged, I don't talk a lot to people and my vocabulary isn't that great because of my childhood. Mary tried to send me to high school but I refused to go, I couldn't put up with anymore abuse. My life was pretty fucked up for an eighteen year old.

Mary and Jonathan didn't know about my rough past and I plan on keeping it that way. It's a time that I don't want to remember but all it does is haunt me. I've managed to keep people out for the past eighteen years, I'm sure I can handle a few more.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get dressed honey." Mary kissed my forehead and looked at the bags under my eyes, her eyes softening.

I move off of the stool and make my way upstairs. Mary and Jonathan had planned to take me to the zoo all week. I don't really like going out because I'm afraid someone will try to hurt me but Mary has been excited about spending time with us all week, so it's the least I can do.

I walk into my bathroom and strip off my pyjamas, stepping under the warm water from the shower. Every time I have a shower I make sure to scrub myself clean at least three times, wanting to get his touch off of me from my nightmare and in real life too.

Once I finish my shower, I step out and wrap a towel around my body before going into my room and changing into a new outfit.

My wardrobe is quite small. When I moved in with Mary and Jonathan the only clothes I had were a pair of leggings and a white shirt, which was no longer white from all the times I had worn it. The first thing they did was decorate my room and buy me a whole new wardrobe.

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