Imagines (you pov)

(Joel Birch) asshole PART 2

"Are you okay?" Avery says for the second time in one day. "I'm nervous." You reply, also for the second time in one day. "Wh-" "this time I'm actually nervous about being back on stage," you say quickly before walking away. One little incident and everyone's treating you like you're glass and you're sick of it, this isn't who you built yourself up to be.

You've changed into your second outfit and you're now waiting on the couch, the rest of the band around you as TAA finishes their set and steps backstage to where you're waiting. You get up and grab your guitar from Avery, you're careful not to give anyone any sort of emotion but when you try step on stage Ahren blocks your way, arms crossed. "Ahren do you mind, I need to get on stage." He remains silent and you can tell by the look he's giving you he's assessing you. You roll your eyes again "don't give me that look," you mumble before brushing past him, he of all people should know not to treat you like you're helpless in situations like this. You step on stage with your head held high.

-x-

You hand your guitar to the equipment guys as you step off stage after an amazing set, the anxiety completely melted away and your spirit's back up again. Ahren steps up to you to give you a high five and you can tell he's learned his lesson about dwelling on your panic attacks.

You're on your way to find a shower when Joel calls out your name from behind you. You sigh, you'd managed to avoid him this whole time but obviously your luck's run out. You turn to him and raise an eyebrow, "yeah?" He walks closer, eyes averted and hand scratching the back of his neck, "listen I-" "didn't mean to push it that far-" you say curtly "-it was just a joke. Blah blah blah, I know. It's no big deal." Joel's face is blank, that certainly wasn't the reaction he expected from you, at this point he was going more for a punch to the nose, "... I didn't realise you get panic attacks." You shrug, "To be frank, it's been so long I had forgotten myself." You turn to walk away again but Joel catches your arm, "y/n please just listen." You turn back to him, the full weight of your frustrations baring heavily now and you're sick of it.

Your eyes burn into him and, inappropriately, a passing thought takes him by surprise. Your eyes are e/c. He always though they were de/c. He sighs because he knows now is the worst time to confess this but he'll do it anyway. "Listen I... its idiotic I know but my behaviour towards you is... is a sign of affection." Joel shifts uncomfortably at your silence, your expression all but readable. "Y/n?" You snap out of your daze and look at Joel shocked, at first you think its too good to be true then you figure it must be, ''Joel if this is another joke-" Joel shakes his head quickly, "no , Y/n, no I'm serious, I... let me show you." He takes hold of your face and kisses you hard.