Diary of a Musician

April, 1st, 1970 (April Fool's Day)

Today was April Fool's Day. Our favorite and least favorite day of the year. We all knew we'd get screwed in some way, but we also knew that we would enjoy screwing someone else. I slowly opened my eyes, suspicious of what pain I might endure. When I opened my eyes all seemed well but, I'd been through other April Fool's Days and knew better than to think everything was okay just yet. I slowly sat up and looked around. Everyone was still passed out. I chuckled to myself, knowing I would get the first prank of the day. I slowly tip-toed out of bed careful not to wake anyone. I got the pot of coffee that magically filled itself, how I have no clue. I poured four nice hot cups of coffee and placed them on the table. I called room service and ordered four breakfast plates. I sprinkled a little something on three of the plates of food and in the drinks. I sat down at the plain meal. "Good Morning, Boys!" I yelled cheerfully. Not a single soul moved. "Good Morning, Boys!!!" I yelled, my voice growing louder. Jimmy rolled over and slowly began to wake up. "I've got breakfast for everyone, with sausage!" I said in a sing-songy voice. Robert shot up out of bed. "Sausage?" Robert asked, tilting his head like a dog. "Yup!" I smiled. Robert ran over to the table tripping on the leg of his bed. The bang that Robert caused, woke John up. "What the hell!?" John mumbled as he sat up. "I've got breakfast, John." I told him happily. John stumbled out of bed and over to the table. Everyone sat at the table and started stuffing their faces, well except for Jimmy. He was more polite and mannerly, also he didn't eat the sausage because he didn't eat meat. Suddenly, everyone stopped eating. "What kind of food is this?" John asked. "The kind that room service brought up. Why?" I replied. "It tastes kinda funny." Robert said as he made a funny face. I chuckled in my mind. "Well, mine tastes fine." I told them. They all made weird faces. Little did they know that I put chili powder in their juice and itching powder on their food. They all chugged their juice, which only made things worse because of the chili powder. I couldn't help myself anymore, I burst into laughter. "You! You did this! What did you do!?" John yelled as he reached for me across the table. "Well, I put chili powder in your juice and put itching powder on your food. Happy April Fool's Day!" I laughed. Tears formed in Robert's eyes as he ran to the bathroom to rinse his mouth out. "Oh, no you don't!" John said as he rushed to beat Robert to the bathroom. Jimmy stood up calmly and walked out of the room. I didn't know where he went but, at the time I didn't care because it was so freaking funny. John and Robert were fighting over the sink. I sat at the table laughing and eating my breakfast. John and Robert were still fighting in the bathroom 20 minutes later. Jimmy came back just then. "Where'd you go man?" I asked him as I took a bite of sausage. "Nowhere." Jimmy said in a monotone voice. I knew he was up to something. Revenge was the first thing that came to mind before he sat next to me. I looked at him suspiciously. He smiled as he leaned towards me. "You wanna screw with John and Robert some more?" Jimmy whispered. "Hell yeah!" I whispered back. "What do you have in mind?" I asked him. Jimmy told me his plan. I agreed as we snuck out the door, leaving John and Robert arguing in the bathroom. They were too busy to even hear the door shut. We rushed down to the lobby and ran to the front desk. "Hi. Can you call room: 125? It's an emergency." Jimmy said urgently. "Um, sure." The young girl at the counter nervously phoned the room. She couldn't have been more than 16. "Hello. This is the front desk there's two men here that need to speak to you, they said it's an emergency." She said softly. She made a worried face and handed Jimmy the phone. "Hello. This is Michael's assistant. I wanted to inform you that tonight's show has been moved to Queen Elizabeth Park at noon" Jimmy said in an extremely deep posh voice. "Yes. He's right here." Jimmy said as he handed me the phone. "Hello, boys. I'm extremely sorry about the change of plans, please hurry and get down here." I said trying to make my voice sound like Michael's. John and Robert bought it. We thanked the girl at the front desk and ran over to sit on the couches. We pretended to be reading magazines as we heard John and Robert running out of the elevator yelling "Jimmy! Aaron!" Jimmy and I chuckled softly as the two ran around the hotel frantically. I checked my watch, it was 11:39. This was beautiful. This may be our best prank ever. "They must be there already!" Robert exclaimed. Jimmy and I almost busted into laughter but, we succeeded in stifling our laughter. John and Robert ran out the door and turned around to walk back in. John asked the girl at the front desk where Queen Elizabeth Park was. She wrote the directions down on a piece of paper. John wrote something down at the bottom of the paper, tore it off and handed it to her. "Call me." John told her with a wink. The girl giggled and nodded as John and Robert rushed out of the hotel. Jimmy and I watched them run towards the park and burst into laughter. Everyone in the lobby was staring at us. We didn't care though, we just kept laughing. We headed up to our room to complete the prank. We sat at the table eating and watching TV. The phone rang. Jimmy and I looked at each other. I answered the phone. "Hello? No, he's not here I'm sorry. Can I take a message? Okay, I'll tell him." I said as I hung up the phone. "Who was it?" Jimmy asked. "It was Robert. He wanted to talk to me. I just told him I wasn't here." I replied. "What was the message he wanted to give you?" Jimmy asked with a chuckle. "He wanted to know where I was." I said as I began to laugh. "He really didn't know it was you?" Jimmy laughed. I shook my head as we laughed. The phone rang again. "Hello?" I said as I heard John's voice on the other end. "You bloody wanker! Where the f-ck are you!?" He screamed loud enough for Jimmy to hear him. Jimmy laughed as he took the phone. "John. If you don't stay away I'm going to kill Aaron." Jimmy said in a gravelly american voice. John went silent. "Who is this?" John asked. "Your biggest fan." Jimmy replied in the creepiest voice I'd ever heard. I didn't realize he was so great at voices. John was starting to freak out. Jimmy hung up the phone and we starting cracking up. We sat drinking Jack Daniels and in about 15 minutes when suddenly, the door burst open. John and Robert stood in the doorway, John's face red. Jimmy and I exploded with laughter. "You guys actually fell for it!" I laughed. Robert stood behind John and said "That was really mean, guys!" John stood still before taking slow steps towards us. When he got to the table he slammed his hands down on the table and said "You guys, are f-cking dead!" Jimmy and I ran out of the room as John and Robert followed close behind. When we got to the lobby the manager came over and told us to settle down and stop running around the hotel. We apologized and John looked at us angrily. We all sat down on the couches in the lobby and stared at each other silently. "So. You think you're going to get away with this?" John said, the anger in his voice would've scared a tiger."Yeah! You think you were gonna get away with this?" Robert mimicked. "Well, yeah." Jimmy laughed. I nodded my head in agreement. Maureen and Alexys came stumbling out of the elevator at that moment. I had forgotten they were still sleeping. "You guys scared the sh-t out of me! I thought you left us here." Maureen whined. I patted my lap and she sat down. Alexys sat next to Robert. I apologized to Maureen and explained that we have sacred April Fool's Day traditions that we had to carry on. She understood. "You guys are going to regret this... So much." John growled. By then it was 1:30 so we went up to our room and hung out until 5:00 when we got ready to leave for the show. The girls sat in the dressing room flirting with the roadies while we were playing. When the show was over we went back to the hotel and "celebrated" April Fool's Day with our girls.