Diary of a Musician

March, 27th, 1970

When I woke up today the blonde girl was sneaking out the door with her 5-inch platform shoes in hand.  "Bye!" I said loud and cheerfully, as I waved my hand at her. She was quite startled. "Oh! Um? Bye!" She said nervously, as she dashed out the door. I chuckled as I got out of bed. John was sitting at the table. "Huh? John? What the hell? You're up pretty early. Something wrong?" I said sleepily. "No. I was just thinking about what Jimmy said. You know, how we're all gonna die. Like, why are we even here, man?" John said as he drifted off in though. "I don't know man, but you better lay off the acid." I joked. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and when I came out Jimmy and Robert had come in. "Oh! Jolly good! He's up!" Robert said in his posh voice. We all did funny voices when we were on the road, on airplanes and stuff. We all became known for certain voices amongst the band. I was known for my posh old lady voice. John was known for many voices but, a common request is his drunken rich man voice. Robert was well known for doing an extremely high-pitched little girl voice and his really deep farmer voice. Jimmy was known for doing different accents, a favorite of the band was his valley girl accent. We just loved hearing each other talk like women. There was just something so hilarious about it. "Why is it jolly good that I'm up?" I said cautiously. "Oh, nothing deary!" John said in his rich girl voice. "Okay. Why is everyone doing voices? Jimmy, what's going on?" I said beginning to sound angry. I knew Jimmy wouldn't screw me over. "I can't say, Aaron. I gave the boys my word." Jimmy said. "You're backstabbin' me, are ya?" I said snidely. When I went to open the closet door to get my clothes, a bucket of water was dumped on my head. "I should've known." I said angrily. I wasn't really as mad as I pretended to be but, I figured "What the hell, I'll run with it!" as I walked towards the rest of the group I said (in my evil voice) "Who's... Idea... Was this?" I kept inching towards them. Jimmy and John pointed at Robert as he said "I swear, it wasn't my idea, Aaron!" I chuckled before I tackled him. "You! I swear to god! I'll kick your f_cking ass!" I yelled as I wrestled with Robert. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I won't do it again, man! I swear!" Robert yelled, his voice cracking. I started laughing and got off of him.  John and Jimmy laughed with me. "That oughta teach ya, to prank me!" I yelled. We all got dressed and headed down to the lobby. We decided to go sight seeing before the show. We drove around looking at stuff but, I didn't really find any of it very interesting. None of us did. So we went to a local bar an had a few drinks. Robert of course had about two for every one that the rest of us had. Jimmy phoned Michael and told him that we were drunk and needed a ride. in about 20 minutes Michael was there. Scolding us for drinking so much. Of course he was yelling, so that hurt our heads. We got back to the hotel at about 3 o'clock and slept until 6:30 when we had to go to the show. The traffic was murder, as usual. We played longer than usual that night but, at one point John almost fell off the stage because he was still drunk. After the show Jimmy (who was sober, he hadn't drank as much as the rest of us.) yelled at us. "Don't you morons have any sense of professionalism!? John! You were so hammered you almost fell of the f_cking stage! What the hell is wrong with you idiots!? And Aaron. I was really disappointed in you! I thought you'd save us from that horrible performance, but no! You just made matters worse! How the hell do you not realize you broke a f_cking string!?" Jimmy went on like this for about 30 minutes, or at least until his throat hurt from yelling. "I'm sorry, man." I said to him. I really meant it too, I was really upset with our performance. We were all so drunk and screwed up so many things. At one point Robert fell off his drumming stool, forcing Jimmy to fix our botched rhythm. We went back to the hotel and the lobby was full of screaming girls. "Oh no you don't!" Jimmy yelled. "You guys are too drunk! No girls!" Jimmy scolded. "Awww! But Jimmy!" Robert groaned, sounding like a five year old. "Aw, just drop it Rob. What mommy says goes." John said jokingly. "Okay. Just for that, I'm taking away your Playboys." Jimmy said. I had to admit he sounded like a mom. I knew better than to say anything though. I didn't want to lose my Playboys.