The 100: Ways To Survive

Chapter 24: Stories

Murphy

I opened my eyes to be greeted with a dark sky and stars shining above. I looked to my left to see Clarke asleep in Bellamy's arms, resting against a tree. Octavia was asleep on the other side of the fire, opposite me. Jasper was asleep behind my head. They were sleeping on a pile of leaves with fur blankets, the animal carcasses were on the fire, cooking.

I slowly sat up, pulling my knees to my chest, across from me was Rose, she was sat against a tree, turning a stick into an arrow and she chucked it on a pile. She looked at me.
"Hey," she whispered.
"I've been asleep awhile," I yawned, I looked at my leg, it had a leaf covering it.
"It should be fine," Rose smiled at me.
I noticed she was shivering and realised it was quite cold, I had a fur blanket on me too, but Rose didn't. I got up, my leg hurting, but it'd be fine. I slowly limped over to Rose and sat down beside her. I sat with my legs up to my chest and the blanket covering my legs as well as Rose's, which were crossed. My arms rested on my knees, my right hand in a fist and the left one over it. I messed with my thumbs. Rose held a stick in her hands and rested them on her lap.

"Thanks," she whispered.
"You're cold," I smiled, I looked at her as I covered her legs with the blanket, "I can't let you shiver."
"You're so kind to me," Rose smiled, shaking her head, and then she looked at the floor, "the others hate me - especially Jasper."
"They don't hate you," I told her, shaking my head, and then I looked at the angry orange flames, "things didn't used to be this way. Jasper hasn't always been this way and I haven't always been nice."
"I know you annoy Clarke and Bellamy, but you're still nice," Rose defended me, looking at me. I looked into her blue eyes and shook my head.
"No. I was horrible. When we first came to the ground, me and Bellamy ran things... with fear," I looked at her and smirked, "I pissed on a guy," I shook my head. I wasn't proud.

"Why?" Her blue eyes full of curiosity.
"He wasn't working hard enough. He wanted a water break," I looked at her face, she didn't seem to be bothered, "it gets worse," I said to her. Looking away, staring at the fire, I began to explain, "They tried to hang me-"
"What did you do?" Rose asked, she had now turned her body to face mine, bending her legs, her hands on top them, touching my sides.
"Nothing," I bitterly laugh, "they blamed me for killing someone, it wasn't me. It was this girl - Charlotte-"
"What happened to her?" Rose asked, she was now playing with a piece of loose hair and intently listening.
"She was young, twelve or thirteen, I don't know," I shook my head and then looked away from her eyes, staring at the flames, "I chased after her, said she needed to pay. She jumped off a cliff," my tone remorseful, "I never meant for her to die, I just wanted - I don't know what I wanted." I began to pick the skin on my palms, "Anyway, after that, I got banished and Grounders tortured me, three days before I broke. They let me go, infected me with a disease. It got the camp. When I was chasing Charlotte, these four guys were there, they left me on my own," I bitterly laughed, "I killed two of them."

Rose was staring at me, I looked into her eyes, "Think I'm a monster yet?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow.
"No," Rose shook her head.
"Well, I tried to hang Bellamy, get revenge, I almost succeeded. But they managed to Hotwire the door and they'd have killed me. So I blew a hole in the drop ship and ran. I got caught by the grounders again and tortured. They let me go."
"I think you're brave," Rose softly told me.
I shook my head, still not meeting her eyes.

"What changed?" Rose asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked, looking in her eyes, I expected her to be hateful or disgusted, but she wasn't.
"Why did you stop being against them?" Rose gestured to Bellamy, Clarke, Jasper and Octavia.
"Well, I went back to the drop ship, after Clarke and Jasper and others had been captured and I found Raven. She was dying, I was dying. I helped prolong her life. I didn't wanna die alone," I looked at the floor, and then at her, "I didn't ask to be hated."
"I don't hate you," Rose said.
"Anyway, the final straw, I saw Finn, he was angry, out of his mind, looking for Clarke. He murdered eighteen people. I told him to leave, he kept pulling the trigger. And then he died."
"That's horrible," Rose softly said.

"Yeah, but I was unwanted at the arc so I left to find the city of light. It doesn't exist; it's some crazy drug trip," I laughed, and then my tone softened, "it's where I met Emori, she had a knife to my throat. I gave her water, she showed me her hand. It was damaged due to radiation, I told her I didn't care. And I didn't. She was the second person in my life that I ever loved. I miss her," I looked at Rose, her face had become sad too, "I don't think she's dead. She can't be, I already almost lost her to the crazy drug trip, but I got her back. I fought so hard for her, for us. I'd go through hell if it meant I could hold her hand."
"You're already there," Rose muttered and she looked away from me, a tear trickling down her cheek, she quickly wiped it away.

"I slept with someone else," I bitterly said, scowling at the fire, reminiscing my time with Ontari. I never wanted to sleep with her, I hated her touching my skin, but I had to. I didn't want to, but she threatened my life. I was her slave. Emori wasn't mad when I told her, when I found her in Polis.
"Why? You love her so much," Rose asked, looking back at me.
"Ontari, this person in charge, had me chained up, threatened me, so I gave in. I told her there was someone else, Emori, but Ontari kept going. I didn't want to," I looked her dead in the eyes and growled, "I hated the way she touched my skin and the scent of her perfume. But I had to. I hate myself for it, but if I didn't-" I broke off and scowled back at the fire, and bitterly muttered, "if I didn't, I'd be dead." I shook my head. I miss Emori a lot. She's the only thing that matters in this shitty world and I will find her again.