My Little World

Chapter Twenty Six

Tara's POV

I could see Xavier's expression but it was so hard to tell what that expression meant. I didn't know how to tell him the truth but this was certainly not how I wanted him to know.

"You didn't tell me" he stated the obvious and it was freaking me out now. His tone was void of emotions and my mind was going crazy. "Why wouldn't you tell me? I think I deserved to know about this." Again, no emotions whatsoever.

I sighed and sat on the edge of the couch. I looked at him and spoke "First, I was scared that this might not seem natural to you and you may look at my daughter differently. I didn't want that. Second, I didn't know how to tell you this. I may not be her biologically mother but I'm her mother. I've loved her more than anyone could possibly imagine. I've been her mother ever since I brought her home with me. I honestly didn't know how to tell anyone that my daughter isn't exactly my daughter. It seems unconventional and weird but it is natural to me. The truth about Emma is hitting me just as hard as it is hitting you. She is my daughter and I've wanted everything best for her. I never wanted you to look at her and not see my daughter. I didn't tell because I don't want anyone to look at her and not see my daughter. This whole thing is huge and I can't imagine how confusing it must be for you but I wasn't trying to keep you in dark, I was protecting my daughter. I don't want people to look at her and see a child whose parents left her to die. I'm her mother and that's all I want to matter."

He didn't say anything for quite a while and that gave me awful lot of anxiety.

"She is not just your daughter, she calls me dad. I should've known about this rather than finding out in the middle of the road. You should've told me."

I stood up and move towards him. I sat next to him and held his hand "I know and I'm really sorry. I screwed up I know but you've to understand it isn't any easy for me. I was terrified and Emma really got attached to you and I couldn't think of the right time. It always seemed like some bomb I was about to drop at you but now this is all messed up and I'm aware of this my fault. I just want you to know that I'm incredibly sorry."

He released his hand from my gasp and stood up. I stood up with him "I can't deal with this right now. I look at you and I feel betrayal. I understand why you did what you did but all of this is so much information to process and all I can think of is how none of this came from you before." And he left.

I walked two steps to stop him but then realized that it would just make everything worse. I'm the one he needs break from so chasing him won't help. He was right, I did betray him and I'm responsible for all this mess but everything I did was for my daughter. I'm all she has and she is all I got, I've to protect her at all costs.

I was exhausted and dehydrated from all the crying. I felt like crap but I know there's only one person who can make it better. I walked into my daughter's room and watched her.

She was sleeping peacefully holding her favorite giraffe. Today has been a monumental disaster. Everything is falling apart and I've potentially ruined my relationship and Emma's relationship with Xavier but as I looked at my little girl's peacefully closed eyes, none of those things bothered me. Everything I do is for her and I'm never going to stop doing everything in my power to protect her.

I got into her small bed and snuggle with her. I held her close to me and sigh. She was the only reminder I needed to know that everything will be alright.

I placed a soft kiss on her forehead which made her open her eyes.

She looked at me with her sleepy eyes and said "Mommy.. I missed you"

"I missed you too sweetie. Now go to sleep, we'll talk tomorrow."

She held me and closed her sleepy eyes. Both of us were asleep in no time since both of us were exhausted for different reasons.