By the time you read this, I may not be living.

Luke, M, 18

This goes out to that bitch that just dumped me. By the time you read this, the Luke you know will be dead.

Are for real? Like honestly, was I really that clingy of a boyfriend that you felt suffocated? It really so bad that I wanted to  spend as much time as possible with you. I remember you smiled everything I was waiting for you after your class to walk you to your next one even though I might be late for my own. I put every ounce of my person into this relationship even when I lost my father. I depended on you to help me at least keep my sanity because I felt you were the only thing that i could count on in this fucked world. You were lotus blossom among the murky dark water that surround my life. You were the solstice from my pain. But then you go and take that piece of mind away from me. How sadistic are you? Did you even think about how I would feel and be affected by this decision. I had few close friends that I could fall back on and most of them left with you. I feel and am utterly alone now. the only company I have are my thoughts and they aren't that friendly. They don't encourage me to rise they push me down and choke me. But I fight back with what little will power I have and struggle to live day to day. Everyday I past by you and want to confront you but I don't knowing that nothing will change. I just continue on me way but you faces stick with me the rest of the day. And when I am alone I struggle with those thought again. They say that I want to much from you, that no one could ever fit the role I'd them to be, that I am alone because I depend on other to much, that I get to attached to others and don't know how to be by myself... Its right. I do do many of those things. I don't know how to be alone. I've never been alone. There was always someone  by side like my father. He was a major pillar in my life and when he fell I cast myself on to you as if you were the only one there. No wonder why you felt the way you did. I wished I saw that side of my self sooner but I was still to blinded my emotions. Maybe he deserves to die. He does no one any good in his existence all he should be is a memory. His probably be dead at the end of this letter or a little time after it ends. I will miss you and I hope to see you in my next lifetime. I hope you like the new me.

Luke.