Caligula and Caesar's American Adventure

Feels on Wheels (Cae)

Cali actually listened to me earlier when I talked about Josh. I told her about the time he broke his leg and sucked at using crutches so he was in a wheelchair, and when I tripped over and grazed my knee, he gave me a lift to my next lesson. It was it was the most romantic fucking thing ever. I was sitting on his lap. He gave me a lift. Isn’t that just so fucking perfect? It’s like giving me a ride home but, you know, a wheelchair instead of a car.

But that was before he got a damn fucking girlfriend, and I’m not going to be rude but she’s the biggest fucking slut I know. I mean, she popped her cherry before she even knew she had one, and I love Josh but he’s an idiot if he can really see past all that. Admirable, but a completely fucking idiot.

She had him wrapped around her little finger and it’s so sad to watch him do whatever the fuck she wants while I bet she just laughs and plans her next conquest. He’s too nice. He can’t say no to her and she just strings him along. But let’s pretend she doesn’t exist. It’s just Josh and me. That sounds good, right? Yeah, I like the sound of that. I don’t mean to sound crude, but there’s not a lot I wouldn’t do to that boy.

But it doesn’t matter. Here I am, letting this fucking adorable maniac drive me through Pennsylvania while I make the most of the bottle. I hope there are hot guys in Pennsylvania. Or weed.