Best of British (Cae)

428 25 8
                                    

Things I miss about England

The food. I think we all know what I mean, what’s up with the nutrition here?! I just want a good, greasy fish and chips.

The accents. I really can’t get to grips with all the American-ness. I can barely understand a lot of them. It took me nearly a year to get used to Cali, especially when she talks so fucking fast.

The humour. It’s just different, kay?

My family. Weird, right? Three diva sisters, a layabout brother and my parents, a pothead mother and a subservient dad who is completely outnumbered by us. I miss them.

Driving on the left. I keep getting it wrong. It’s only a matter of time before I fucking crash, but I don’t like it when Cali drives.

The radio. I can’t get a single fucking BBC channel here and sometimes, it’s nice to listen to a Radio 4 show. My phone’s absolutely shit – Mum, in a moment of lucidity, wouldn’t let me bring mine so I have a brick my dad used to use. No internet, no radio.

My friends. They’ve got nothing on Cali but it’s nice to be in the same country as more than one person I know, even if they’re not the sort of people I’ll even know in five years. To be honest, I’ll probably never see any of them ever again now that I’ve left school.

The Drinking Age. I mean come on, at least back at home, my ID works. Here, I get thrown out on my arse. Good thing I’m not against a five finger discount.

Pot laws. It’s so chilled there. I’m surprised we haven’t been busted yet.

But all of that’s ok. I think I can get used to this.

Caligula and Caesar's American AdventureWhere stories live. Discover now