Saving Shoey- A Shoey FanFiction

Chapter 10- Old Habits Resurface

{WARNING! SELF HARM!}

Chapter 10

February 14th

Joey’s POV

    Shane and I walked inside to his apartment, still laughing slightly from our car sing-along. Shane stopped suddenly and I almost bump into him. I open my mouth to ask what was wrong, then saw... Lisa lay stretched on the couch in only her undergarments.

“Hey, babe- What the hell is Joey doing here?!” She exclaimed.

I blushed furiously as she covered herself with a blanket.

“Er... Um... I’ll just... Go, then...” I stammered as I backed out.

Shane grabbed my arm and held me there.

“No, don’t.” He turned to Lisa. “Joey got in a big fight with Sawyer, and now he’s homeless. I told him he could stay with us until he found another place to live. Go get some clothes on and help me get Joey comfy.”

The hard look in Shane’s eye bothered me. Why did he care so much? I was just his friend... He could easily stick me into a hotel for the night, and I could reimburse him later on...

“Fine, god... I’m just gonna go to bed. Night... Shane, Joey.” Lisa said. The disgust in which she said my name startled me. Less than 5 hours ago she was hugging me, all excited about her engagement. I wondered what got into her...

Shane followed Lisa halfway down the hallway to the linen closet, grabbing some extra blankets and pillows. I grabbed my biggest suitcase and rolling suitcase, then followed Shane into the guest room. He rolled down the comforter on the bed and put the extra blankets and pillows on the bed, then went back out to the living room to grab the rest of my stuff. I followed him and helped him with my stuff.

“Thanks, Shane. For everything, I mean. Letting me stay with you and Lisa, helping me with my stuff, picking me up after the whole fiasco with Sawyer... You’re a real good friend.” I said to Shane.

“Of course, Joey! You’re one of my best friends! How could I not help you out in a situation like this? You would do the same for me, right?” He smiled at me, then patted me on the shoulder. I smiled back at him, then began to set my laptop and other desk things on the desk.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to go talk to Lisa. I don’t know why she seemed so irritated about you staying with us...” Shane told me, then turned and walked out.

“Ok,” I replied, just as the door closed. “I love you, Shane...” I shook my head and turned back to the desk.

Once I was done with all the desk unpacking and putting my clothes away, I set Sharkie-B on my bed and collapsed next to him. Wow... What a long day... I thought to myself. What is Sawyer going to do? I realized with a start that Sawyer was in the hospital, and nobody but myself, Kalel, and Lisa knew... I better call Sawyer’s mom and let her know. I thought. I pulled out my phone and dialed her number. It rang four times, then went to voicemail. I left a message.

“Hey, it’s Joey... I just wanted to call to let you know that Sawyer is in the hospital with a broken hand. Thanks. Call me back. Bye.” I hung up. Minutes later, she called back.

“Hey! I see you got my message!” I said.

“Yes, thank you Joey. Are you there with him? Can I talk to him? He isn’t picking up his phone.” Sawyer’s mom sounded frantic. I felt bad for her.

“Er... We kinda a falling out... He wouldn’t want me to be there anyways.” Even though I knew she couldn't see me, I could tell that my face blushed with embarrassment.

“Oh... Alright... Well, thanks for letting me know where he was. I’ll go visit him as soon as I can. Bye, hun.” She hung up.

I checked my watch. It read 10:52 PM. "Hmmm... Getting late... I better take a shower and go to bed. I gotta get up early tomorrow and talk to my realtor about finding a new place to live." I thought, then got up and carried out my thoughts.

After clearing my thoughts in the hot shower, I put on my pajama pants and a t-shirt, then went out to the kitchen for a glass of water. As I poured water into a glass, Shane walked in, looking extremely disgruntled and tired.

“Hey.” I said to him between sips of water.

“Hey. How are you?” He asked me.

“Good. What was with Lisa? Did you find out?”

“Yeah, funny story actually. She’s jealous of you! She thinks that I’m spending too much time with you and not enough with her. I honestly think she thinks I’m gay... Ha! As if.” He laughed, and I nervously laughed with him.

“Yeah... No way, right?” I replied.   

“Yeah, but I’m not. I love Lisa.” Shane smiled. I sipped my water. Shane grabbed water too, and we stood in silence drinking our water. He was so gorgeous, just leaning there nonchalantly. What if I tell him that I’m gay for him? I thought to myself. "What the hell... YOLO, right? Let’s do this." I concluded, wondering why the hell I said YOLO. YOLO is so stupid...

“Shane... Can I tell you something? You have to promise not to tell anyone or talk about it to anyone unless I give you permission to do so, ok? And don't get mad.” I put my glass down on the counter.

“Yeah, of course! I promise, and I won't get mad. No matter what.” He too set down his glass and turned to me.

“Shane, I’m kinda... sorta... Er...”

“Well? Spit it out!” Shane looked at me expectantly.

“I'm... Shane, I’m gay. And I like you...” I blushed and turned away.

“Oh... Joey, I’m engaged. To Lisa... A woman... Sorry.” He responded.

“Yeah... I know... I... Goodnight.” I turned and left the kitchen as fast as I could without bolting.

As soon as I reached my room, I went into my bathroom. I pulled out the sharp little razor blade I kept hidden in the pocket of my toiletries bag, an item I was beyond used to. Standing over the sink, I dragged the blade across my wrist. Blood trickled down my arm. I dragged it across my arm once more, twice, three times, up and down. Rather than feeling physical pain, I felt only relief. It felt good to be able to relieve myself of the stress, anger, and sadness Shane and my homosexuality had caused me. It had been a few weeks since the last time I had cut, and it was really getting to me. I had been cutting once, twice, three times a day since the whole kiss with Shane. It was because I knew he was straight, and taken as well. By a girl. That he had been dating for two years. Not a recipe for a happy Joey... I made four more slices on my pale arm, reopening 2 more scars, then rinsed the blood off my arm and put my blade back into its hiding place. I went back into my room and took off my shirt, then climbed into the big, warm bed. I pulled Sharkie-B towards me, then cried on his stomach until I fell asleep.