Secrets of the Heart

Chapter 12

Alice opens the door to her room the moment I knock. It seems like she was about to head out to go somewhere.

"I'm so-sorry. I j-just didn't know w-who to go to," I force out before I start sobbing.

"Clara, come in," she says, worry apparent in her voice. She grasps my hand and leads me to the couch in the parlor of her wing of the castle. I sit down, and she follows my lead. "Start at the beginning."

And I do. I tell her all that happened just now, and even as I say the words, I can't bring myself to believe them.

"Alice- I think... I think I might be falling for him," I whisper, my voice full of shame.

" No- you can't Clarabelle. Think about all the trouble you'd be in! Your parents could disown you, or Leonardo could even be executed. You have to get over this. It's just a silly crush, Clarabelle," Alice scolds.

"Yes, but-"

"You can't see him anymore. You just can't. If you do, you'll ruin your life, and his," she says timidly.

"Oh, so my life won't be ruined by marrying someone I don't really love?"

Her face turns pale- well, her face is always pale, but now it matches the color of ivory.

"Don't be silly- of course you love Pier," she says in a trancelike state.

"If I did, I wouldn't be having feelings for Leonardo, now would I?" I sass. She falls silent, and I know that she know I'm right.

"You can't act on your feelings, Clarabelle. I think... I think you should stop going to the barn. Echo will be fine, but you can't see Leonardo anymore. At least, not until your married. Then it will be okay, but until then... I think you should stop going to the barn."

I look up at her solemnly, and meet her eyes.

"You're right- no matter how much I wish you weren't, you are. You're right," I sigh quietly.

She hugs me tightly, and whispers in my ear, "I know it's hard now, but ten years from now you won't even remember his name."

"I know, but- what do I do until then," I cry.

She takes a deep, thoughtful breath. I can tell she's searching her brain for an answer that would be of benefit to me.

"Just grin and bear it."

I wish it were that simple.

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The day dragged on, uneventful and boring. I went to sleep broken hearted and teary eyes.

When the morning light wakes me, I look out the window out of habit. For a moment, I forget about yesterday's events. Until I see him.

Standing by the apple tree, waiting for me as he does every morning, is Leonardo. A part of me wants to rush down to his side and go down to barn. But I suppress the thought, and close my curtains, blocking out all sunlight.

I ring a bell that sits beside my bed, and a servant girl runs in.

"Yes Mademoiselle?" She says in a slight French accent.

"Please tell the gentleman down in the Garden that I won't be going to the barn today, or tomorrow, or any day after that," I huff. She nods, and rushes out the door.

Despite myself, I peek out through my window, and watch as she approaches him. I see his face fall as she conveys my message.

He glances up to my window, and before I can move out of his line of sight, our eyes meet. For that fleeting moment, I want nothing more than to run down there and meet him. But I control myself, and lie down on my bed, burying myself in blankets.

Because you see, even though I want nothing more than to run to him, I can't- I'm still injured, and therefore I can't run.

Also, no matter how much I wish it weren't so, I'm betrothed to Pier. And in less than a year, I am to marry him.

It's funny how time flies- just over a year ago, marrying Pier was what I wanted more than anything.

And now- well, now I don't know what I want. In fact, I feel like I don't know anything anymore.

A/N

I feel so awful about not updating!! I did a performance, and I was in a car accident. It wasn't serious, but I've had a headache ever since, and it's painful. I will try to update more frequently, but I have so much homework lately, and I'm writing two other books besides this one, both of which I'm very dedicated too.

Thanks for sticking by me you amazing lovelies!! <3