I know you know, despite your reservations
Out of everything in this world, I choose you
I sighed to myself.
Of course this would be the song to start playing. Of course.
The song went on, and I realised how accurate it was.
I should have known he’d see it as a mistake. A dirty, dirty mistake.
And I know he knows, despite his personality and the way he always seems to withdraw for everyone… and his damn stubbornness … he knows I’ll still choose him over everything else. But it’s like he doesn’t remember anything about the way we used to be. He is still my best friend. He always will be. Even though he’s moved on, and even though he hasn’t spoken to me in months. I’ll never be able to replace him even if I wanted to.
We had no idea, at the time… Well, I did, but I pretended not to.
We were just trying something new. He needed saving, and I was that salvation. I just needed him. I still need him.
Dissolve myself in you, cause I’m not gonna, not gonna give you up
No I’m not gonna, not gonna give you up
Cancel myself to feel you, cause I’m not gonna, not gonna give you up
No I’m not gonna, not gonna give you up
I know he knows that despite what this means about me, about the strain it put on our friendship, despite the fact that it was so, so unlike him, I knew exactly what we were doing. And I didn’t stop it, and neither did he. It was his idea, and why would I stop him from doing exactly what I always wanted him to do?
I looked at the phone. It was sitting on my desk, as it always did, right next to my hand, just in case he decided to call. Maybe, one day, he would.
So far he hasn’t.
I misread what he was saying. I thought he wanted to give us a shot. But no, he was impatient and desperate and lonely. I was there to pick up the pieces after what Eddie did to him. Of course I was there for him. But to him, I was just a rebound, and I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. I was already in too deep, though, so when he approached me… I heard what I wanted to hear. He was my salvation, just as I was his. But of course, we needed each other for different reasons.
Me, because I love him.
Him, because he loves Eddie. And Eddie doesn’t love him back anymore.
It was a simple plan, in his mind. “Kevin loves me, he will do this for me, and maybe I can pretend to love him until it becomes true.” I’m not making this up; he told me so in the morning. Just before he walked out of the door and out of my life forever. I never told him I always knew I’d fall in love with him. I should have. Maybe none of this would have happened. He and Eddie would never have been together, and it would just have been Aleks and I, from the beginning until forever.
But while his plan worked at first, it didn’t take long for the illusion to shatter.
A faint illusion, of your simple plan
“Exactly,” I thought to myself as the song quieted.
I knew what I had to do.
I grabbed the phone. I’m sick of waiting for him.
I dialed his number, not even needing to look at the phone to know where the numbers were. It rang and rang and rang. Of course he didn’t answer. I didn’t need him to.
Just as it went to the answering machine, I turned up the volume, catching the last few lines of the song.
I know you know
Despite your reservations
Out of everything in this world
I choose you.
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i need to get better at songfics
YOU ARE READING
ImmortalAnex Songfics/Oneshots
Fanfictionidk what more of a description you need like its all in the title
