Ch-39 Sorrow

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"I-" sobs broke through again and I could barely understand her muffled words. "Lost the-" more cries as my heart dropped at her next words. "Baby," she barely finished. Oddly tears prick my eyes as I looked down at my sons.

"I'm so sorry Stacy," I tried to stay strong for her sake but my heart practically ripped from my chest. "Where are you?" I asked hoping maybe I could get to her if nobody else was with her.

"I'm at the doctors office here," she sniffled. "I can't tell Austin," her sobbing picked up again at the mention of my big brother and her fiancé.

"He is going to be there for you," I promised her and picked at the lint on my comforter.

"He was so happy about the baby and I- I let him down," she mumbled almost incoherently. I wiped tears from under my eyes while struggling to stay strong for her. I couldn't imagine being in her position right now.

"God had plans for the little angel Stacey. Austin will understand that," I tried my best to make her feel better in ways I thought would help.

"But why my angel? I deserved a baby. Some people don't deserve one but I deserved one. Why did my baby get taken away? I did everything right!" She yelled in frustration, sorrow, hurt and confusion.

"God has a greater plan than just the little bits we see," I balanced the phone between my ear and shoulder when Jaxon started to scream, making his chubby cheeks turn a shade of scarlet red faster than I could pick him up. When I did, he calmed right down and opened his tear filled blue eyes with curiosity as he looked around.

"Why did you get two babies and I can't even have one?" She cried. I don't have an answer. I really don't know. "I have my own place, a fiancé, money, a great environment for a little one and you have none of that. So why did you get the babies?" she questioned sharply. Ouch, that kind of hurt in a weird way. But I know she is hurting right now.

"I'll be there in a few hours," I told her and she didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"Please," she quietly begged through the phone and we both said goodbye.

"Get dressed Pais," I told my sister and she wore a confused expression. "I'll tell you in the car," I promised and threw yoga pants and a sweater on before putting a ball cap on to hide my untamed hair. Luckily I have the boys dressed already so this should be easy except for the fact that I have to make sure I have everything I need in the diaper bag.

I quickly gathered everything I'd need and ran downstairs to start the car so it would be warmed up for when I put the boys in there. "Where are you going?" My mom asked as I opened the front door.

"Outside," I quickly stalled my legitimate answer because I'm not exactly sure about what to tell her. She does not know Stacey was even pregnant to begin with.

She crossed her arms at my suspicious answer. Before she had to ask again I answered.

"To visit Hannah. I miss her," I lied convincingly. I'm not proud but I do have to say that the saying practice makes perfect is true when it comes to lying.

"So early in the morning?" She asked with a quirk of an eyebrow. I nodded with a shrug.

"The earlier I leave the sooner I get there and the longer I have to stay," I explained and she nodded in agreement.

"Okay well have fun. Be safe with my grandsons. And oh, I have mail for you," she said less enthused than before. My shoulders slumped at her words and I sighed. I know exactly what it is, the test results. My mom didn't even know I had the test done in the first place. She thought we were going to a routine check up that day.

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