The Unknown

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I didn't sleep all night. I sat in my chair and stared out the window remembering the first day I saw him ride across the lawn. The way his sandy hair caught the rising sun. Little did I know the adventure he would take me on, and the heartbreak he would lead me to.
I wasn't expecting to feel this way when I found Lukas gone. I thought I would be happy, I thought I would be relieved to be rid of the one person who made me feel alive. But I feel the opposite of that. My heart keeps shattering over and over again, a weight has settled on my shoulders and I feel I can't stand tall again.
I know understand my mother. I get why she stayed in bed, why she became sick, why she died. I only got a little taste of what I could have had with Lukas, my mother lived it. It's crushing really. The entire night I let myself day dream, I let myself cry, I let myself go with the promise that when the sun would rise I would be okay. I would move on and carry on with my life.
And that's exactly what I did.
The sun began to rise quicker than I had expected it to. I bottled the emotions and I wiped away the tears. I stood up and turned to change into a different, less-stained skirt and I found myself on my knees.
There on my nightstand was my journal. The one I was sure I left in the forest. The one that started the whole mess to begin with. I close my eyes and breath. Man was I pathetic. I pick myself up and walk over to my nightstand. It was opened to a page that I had never written on. It had handwriting on it that I was not familiar with, but I knew who it had to be.

Dear Mae,

I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer and talk things out with you. I want to, believe me I do. I was unexpectedly called by my father and have some business to attend to. To be honest, I don't know when I can come back. I'm afraid it won't be for a long time.
But know, I regret very deeply that I can't be there. Mae, I miss you even now as I get ready to go. I want you to know how truly sorry I am that I read the contents of these pages. If I had known what it meant to you, I never would have. You need to know that I don't think any different of you. You will always be my Mae.

Until we meet again,

Lukas.

My spine was straight and my heart was steady. The words are stained into my memory forever. I feel the threat of tears, so I close the journal and my eyes.  

A new day Mae, time to rise and show the world what you're made of.

My mother's words come to me and I can't help but smile. At that moment, I miss her. I really do miss her. She would have known what to do, what to say. But all I have left are the memories I have of her, so those will have to do.
I set the journal down and I walk downstairs to greet Liz already working in the kitchen. She looks up from the counter where she cuts carrots and stops.

"Oh deary, I know that look." She comes over to me and gives me a big hug. I guess sometimes mothers can be made. "That's the look of a broken 'eart." She rubs my back and whispers words of encouragement to me. I hug her back and let the tears fall gently. When she pulls away she gives me a heart warming smile that I can't help return.

"There ya go deary, let the world see that smile." I laugh at her words and she chuckles to herself as she returns to the counter. "I know you're 'urting, but I 'ate to say we've got a lot of work to do."

"Whys that?" I grab the tub from the corner of the room and begin to fill it for Victoria. How quickly everything returns to normal.

"The mistress announced this mornin' that a ball is going to be 'eld 'ere at Pineridge in two weeks! You would think that she would give us a bit of a warnin' but nooooo, it 'as to be two weeks she says..." Liz rattles on, but my heart pounds. Two weeks. A ball in two weeks is the perfect amount of time. I leave the tub and start to head upstairs.

"Woah there! Mae, where do you think you're going?" I stop with my foot on the stair that leads to Victoria's room. I turn, my brain working overtime.

"I've got to wake Victoria up, haven't I?" Liz seems lost for a second and then nods.

"Oh yeah, crazy 'ow things go back so quickly." She mutters to herself as she viciously chops the carrots. I turn and smile as I head up the stairs, a plan forming in my mind.