The Unknown

Chapter Thirteen

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" His blue eyes shimmered next to the fire. Lukas was always asking questions, he never stopped. I thought I was curious, until I met Lukas. That's when I realized that my curiosity wasn't as bad as I was told. 

"I'm not sure." We whispered to one another underneath the blankets. Sister Margaret's Home for Lost Children was cold at night, very cold. Huddling together was not uncommon, but being this close to the fire could get us into big trouble. Thankfully, all the teachers were out for the night. Except for Luna, but Luna never woke up.

"Oh come on, you know." I turned to the fire, my heart becoming nervous. It pounded as I worked up the courage. Focusing on the crackling of the logs and the glow of the embers, I let the words slip out of me.

"I want to be loved," I whispered.

I sat upright in my bed. It's been years since I've dreamed of Lukas, years since I've even thought of him. He was my best friend at Sister Margarets, the only one who even attempted to be my friend. He was adopted by the age of thirteen, so I remained friendless for the final year of my life at Sister Margarets. But that was a lifetime ago, something I hardly thought of. Why was I dreaming of him now?

"Mae! We need you!" Liz's voice echoed from the kitchen up to my room. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Today was a big day at Pineridge Estate. It was the monthly lunch and if Liz, myself, and the others don't set everything up right, then the entire lunch could be ruined. But I did not want to listen to Victoria's complaints for the next month, so I was determined to make sure everything went according to plan.

I got myself out of my bed and prepared for the day. I was feeling excited, after last night's events, the dream, and the day ahead, I decided to put on my only nice skirt. It was a soft blue pink color that Liz said brought out the brown in my eyes. Trusting Liz wasn't lying, I slid my shoes on, set my apron over my head, and headed downstairs. 

"Good morning Liz!" I melodied.

"Child, it isn't a good mornin' yet. Get to work, the carrots need peeled and potatoes cleaned. Stephen!" Stephen came in from outside, sweat beading his forehead. He carried a large sack over his back which he let thud to the ground next to the counter.

"Yes m'lady?"

"Don't you m'lady me till we 'ave all dese cakes made. Get over 'ere and 'elp me." Stephen stared at her, shocked. I focused on my carrots, but couldn't help smile. Stephen in the kitchen could be a nightmare. Last time he cooked, the water caught on fire and I thought that was impossible.

"Uh...Liz?"

"I don't care, I need the 'elp. Get over 'ere. It's not that 'ard." 

Liz set Stephen to work on stirring soup in the pot and then she left to oversee the table being set. We worked silently, Stephen occasionally stirring and myself peeling the carrots and washing potatoes. We worked well together, methodically moving around each other to get to a different spot in the kitchen. Working together in the kitchen is like a dance and it took practice to learn.

"So, how have you been?" His words slurred as he focused on the soup. I could tell he was nervous, ruining the soup was more than just having a bad meal for the family. It meant everyone who lived at Pineridege would have a bad rest of the month.

"I've been well. How about you?" He looked up with a great grin.

"Oh Mae, it's been swell. Really, it has." 

"So she's talking to you now?" I set the carrots in the sink, letting the water run over them removing the dirt.

"Mae she's wonderful. Her letters come about once a day. At first, I thought she hated me but now...Mae I don't know. I think I love her." He was watching the soup now, his eyes had a far off look to them. I walked over and removed the pot from the fire. 

"Stephen, you haven't even met her yet." He sat down in the chair taking a deep breath.

"I know, but I don't think that matters."

"What if when you meet her, she's hideous? A big older lady with matting hair? What if she was crosseyed?" I set the soup down and began adding carrots to the pot. Stephen stood and stirred while I added.

"I don't think I care about that either. I keep thinking, someone that has such big dreams and is so kind couldn't possibly be ugly. Even if she was ugly, I would still love her." And then we were silent again. What would it be like to love someone that much? That no matter how ugly the were or how hideous they may seem to everyone else, they held all the beauty in the world to you. 
What would it be like to be loved like that?
To have someone that no matter what you did or what has happened to you in the past, they would still stand by you and hold you until the end? 

"Mae, Mae listen to me." His hands trailed up and down my back shooting shivers that traveled down my arms and electrified my palms. It was as if small eels traveled my veins shocking me. He held me close, my head buried in his shoulder, my tears wetting his shirt. He had strong hands, so when he pulled me back to face him, there wasn't one part of me that was afraid he would let me slip. He grasped my shoulders tight, not to the point where it hurt, but to the point where I felt safe and secure.

"I love you Mae, no matter what has happened." His blue eyes had a glossy sheen to them, almost as if he were about to cry as well. 

"But...i-i do-n't under-stand." His hands came up and cupped either side of my face, his thumbs wiping the tears as they fall. He smiled as he watched me, and that was the reason for my tears. Not because he said he loved me, not because I was upset that he did, but because of the way he looked at me. He looked at me as if I was perfect, that I could do no wrong. The way his eyes shone with pride and love as he watched me break down. Never in my life has anyone ever looked at me this way, no one has ever seen me as someone to love. My past didn't matter to him, the harsh words that followed my name, the whispers that seemed to become me. None of it mattered to him, he loved me for me. He loved me despite the things that were my past. 

He loved me.

But that's why I know this isn't reality, because no one ever can.