The Unknown

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I left Victoria's room after the moon had risen. I stayed the rest of the day and helped her clean the room. Turns out their trip had to be cut early because her mother had fallen ill. Ophelia now lays in her room with a cold but Victoria reassured me that she would be feeling better soon. I couldn't help but notice the worry in her eyes as she tried to seem so confident. 

I made my way slowly through the corridors, my strength hasn't returned fully and I try my hardest to stay awake as I walk. But the length of the day had taken its toll.

I make it to my room safely and lay on the bed not bothering to change into my night things. I couldn't believe it, Stephen and Victoria were planning to run away. There was no other way for them to be together. They had a small house all ready and everything. They were going to move a few towns away and I was told I could come and visit them occasionally. All this information came from Victoria, I hadn't seen Stephen yet. But when I do, I am going to give him a good lecture on how to trust your closest friend with information.

They want to get married in a few weeks at most, have children in a few years. They want to grow old together, to live together and enjoy life by each other's side. Victoria was so excited when she spoke these words that were so new to her.

Words I will never speak, but maybe there's still hope. Maybe one day I can speak these words but talk about myself and...and Lukas.

"Hurry she's awake!" His voice comes from the other side of the house. My feet are slow to carry me into the room but I can't help it. Carrying a child for nine months does this to a person. I enter the small bedroom and stop in the doorway. There, standing in front of the crib was my husband. He stood tall, the morning light coming in from the windows making the small streaks of blonde stand out. He held a small bundle of blankets in his arms.

"Lukas?" I ask. His head snaps up and he smiles at me.

"Good morning my love." He walks over carrying the blankets and gives me a kiss on my head. "I have decided that she has your eyes." I look at his face, then all around me. Everything was so unfamiliar, the way the light came in from the windows, the way the crib was set up. But everything was the way I would have done it. Where the crib was placed, the colors of the room, even the blankets that were still in the crib. I look back at Lukas and he's watching me with a look in his eyes that I've only seen once.

Love.

"I...I don't understand." I whisper. He looks down at the blankets and I follow his gaze. There, in his arms, was a small child. Her brown eyes glowed with the light that surrounded her. She smiled up at me and held her arms out to me. My heart expanded and grew, and then I understood. This was what I wanted. This was my dream. To have a family, to have a husband and children. To have Lukas. I look up at Lukas and he smiles down at me.

"I understand Mae. It's okay." He takes a step back into the room. He drops the bundle down to the floor and I scream. It lands in a pile on the ground, no child to be found. When I look back at the room I find that I am now back in my own room.

The dream leaves sweat on my brow and tears stained on my cheeks. I leap out of my bed and run out of my room.

I need to find him, I need to see him right now. I have to tell him I'm sorry. I run up to his room not caring how loud I am. I don't think, I just open the door and run in. But I only find it empty. Everything has been emptied from the room. None of his trunks or his belonging are left behind. I turn and run outside, there is only one place he could be.

Please be there. Please be there. Please oh please.

Unlike last time I made this journey, the forest can't come into view fast enough. My feet are hitting the ground with such intensity that I'm surprised no one wakes up inside the estate. The forest looms ahead and I don't hesitate one second. I have made a huge mistake. I need to apologize to him, I need to tell him I'm sorry. That I want him to understand my past, that I want him to be there for me.