Girls Can't Play Football

Chapter 11

Fear is not your enemy. It is a compass pointing you to areas where you need to grow.

-Steve Pavlina

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It was only when the players actually lined up did I feel my heart's rate go a thousand times faster- at least, enough to just make it's way out of my chest.

I hugged my purse tighter and clutched the photo as tight as I could muster to give me all the strength I needed. He was all the strength I needed, so I held him tight in my arms at that very moment when I needed him the most.

You know, a person once told me that when you fear your struggles, your struggles consume you. But when you face it, you overcome it. That it's all in your head and when you're back to reality, it'll all be over and everything will be fine.

That person left me moments later. With a straight line on the heart beat monitor.

He was wrong. It may have been in my head, but how did I know if it wasn't alright? He said that it'd be alright as soon as we come back to reality. But when I came back to reality, things were worse than I left it.

But that person was my strength. Always had been and always will be. Right in my heart. I know he's here somewhere, probably congratulating me for coming this far. For facing it, just like he always said. The only thing I was afraid of was if he was disappointed that I was only doing this because I was challenged.

The thing is that it's not only because I'd been challenged. It was also because I'd been wanting to do this for a very long time. It was just that I hadn't accepted the fact that I wanted to face the very thing that gave me nightmares.

And now, with all the players on the field and my hand gripping Ceci's so tightly that I was scared her blood circulation would stop and bruises would form later on, the only thing I could focus on was the adrenaline rushing through my veins and the game.

I gulped. This was it.

It was Southern Spartans University (which was our rival) versus our team, Jackson Jaguars. Right now, the referee met up with captains from both the teams for a coin toss. Since 'The Southern Spartans' were the visiting team. They went for heads, leaving our team with no other option but to go for tails.

The referee shot the coin up and when it landed, it was heads. The 'rivals' as I'd like to call them went with kick-off. The referee swung his leg in a kicking-ish motion and pointed to their team to inform them that they were starting off as the kicking team.

I sighed. I think this was the first time in many years that I had actually sat down in the spectator's seat. I was usually out there on the field, probably taunting, yelling, and shouting out motivational words out at them. A small laugh escaped my lips as I thought back at all the memories and even though it was unheard due to the roaring crowd, I had surprised my own self by doing so.

There were eleven players on the field, most of them I could recognize as they had come to our table several times to check up on Alex. And of course, Alex, I most definitely knew, who was playing as quarterback of the team.

"Hey, Sam," Cecilia started, squeezing my hand, coming closer so I could hear her above the voices of a hundred more, "your grip is too tight." She gulped, looking down at my hand grasping hers.

I left her hand almost immediately, a blush forming on my cheek. "I'm sorry about that." Her eyes softened and she sent a small smile towards me.

"It's okay," she patted my hand comfortingly whilst smiling.

The Southern Spartans took their respective positions on the field as we all waited in anticipation for the start of the game, the same with our team.