I cant hear you... But I wish I could

Chapter Twelve (12)

Owens p.o.v

I rolled in my bed trying to get the warmness back into me, but the more I rolled the colder I got. Squinting one eye open, I was scared, I didnt want Tyler to leave but I did, why? Because I was embarrassed I let him see my scares I gave myself. I let him see me having a mental break down.  Actually I wouldnt be surprised if he didnt talk to me today or at all. I have a lot of issues.

Sitting up in my bed.

I took the covers off with my non-bandaged arm, it hurt so bad right now, part of the healing process maybe ? I bit my lip and started to walk to the bathroom that I nearly killed myself in last night. Opening the door slowly my actions of last night flooded into my head.

Reading the letter.

Collecting my razor.

Turning on the bathtub water ice cold.

Getting in.

Cut myself once.

Twice.

Three times.

Four times.

Stopping.

Thinking.

Bringing the razor to my neck.

Applying pressure.

Got interrupted.

Peeling off the bandages they released raw jagged cuts in my arm the air felt good on them.

But they were disgusting memories.

Carefully I stepped out of my clothes and got under the warm spray letting it hit every inch of my body.

I want to feel renewed—like nothing happened yesterday.

No letter.

I want everything bad to go away. But most importantly.

I want Tyler.

I scrubbed down my body. Cleaning myself of my improfections... Only they wouldnt go away.




I was walking to the park, were my mom used to take me. She used to sign to me that the kids sounded like squeaking devils. And that I better not sound as annoying like that. She made me smile all the time.

But now she wont hear me. Nor will I hear myself.

My hands were stuffed in my pocket and my hood was pulled up. Today was not a nice day for going to the park-yet, about five kids were there running around... Having fun.