Solar Eclipse - Book 5

Who I was born to be

Sometime that night I fell asleep, laying beside Nic in his bed. I knew laying next to a dead body was not normal but I just couldn't find it in myself to leave his side. I was afraid that if I left his side he would disappear. I needed to be here and protect him like he protected me. 

I still held onto hope that he would come back to me. Even though it was false hope it was still hope. It was still hope.

The next morning I woke up with a start. Yawning I stretched out my arms before pushing myself into a sitting position. I looked to my right and my heart dropped. The balcony doors weren't there, this wasn't my room. And if this wasn't my room that meant I was in Nic's. That meant he was dead.... yesterday happened.

I turned my head to the left to look at Nic only his body wasn't there. I jumped to my feet, my heart racing and my stomach in my butt. Where was his body. Where did he go.

"Mom! Dad!" I screamed as I stormed out of the bedroom.

I tilted my head slightly to listen for any sounds that gave away their position in the house. A shuffle downstairs was my cue. I quickly descended the staircase and went into the living room where they were standing.

"What did you do with him!" I shrieked angrily.

"Renesmee, you need to calm down. You were sick, you need to give your body a rest. Go back upstairs and sleep for a while."

"Why? So you can finish burying his body. Tell me where he's at!" I shouted, stomping my foot angrily.

"Renesmee, calm down so we can talk this out."

"I will not calm down! Nic is my life and I am in love with him." I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. "You know... he proposed to me twice since we've been together and I told him no because I wasn't ready. Then this happens and you know what I told him... I told him if we survived I would marry him. Ironic huh, how this all worked out. I wanted him only now I can't have him." I turned around and punched the wall, breaking a hole in it.

"Renesmee..." My mother was at my side. "Nic isn't here, he is gone. He-" I shoved her away not wanting to hear anymore and ran downstairs to the music room.

I couldn't believe it, he was gone.

I inhaled deeply before I let it go. I screamed as loud as I could, not caring who the hell heard me. I was so angry that I loved Nic and couldn't have him. He gave me everything he could to make me happy yet I woudln't give him the one thing that would do the same for him.

He wanted to marry me and take care of me but I said no. 

Now I regret it. I knew I would be happy with him and safe as can be with him, especially now that the Volturi was gone and Aurora and her brother Flint took their rightful places back upon the thrones of Volterra.

I just wish I had another chance to make him happy.

I curled up in the corner of the music room and stared at the wall. Did I really want to live forever, especially when I felt like this. All these emotions and regrets would never leave my mind. Because I was part vampire I didn't forget as easily as humans did so no matter how many years passed by I would remember this moment.

"I love you..." I whispered, my eyes closed. 

I missed his eyes, his beautiful eyes and his smile and his voice. I never knew how much I'd need him, miss him, ache for him until now. 

"Renesmee?" My father called.

He crossed the room slowly and took a seat on the floor beside me.