(not edited)
"So what were your resources?" Miss Perry asked us as she looked down at the grading rubric and then back up at Heaven and I.
I looked to Heaven who's thick black hair was combed staright down, past her shoulders. My hair was under a snapback, wild and curly because I didn't want to cut it. Even though this look is nice for me. "We used the library here, Sara Public Library, the Internet, prior knowledge..." she began as I held the poster up and looked at my feet.
"No, more exact." Miss Perry said.
"Oh," I said passing the poster board to Heaven who was already holding the essay. I pressed the next slide on Heaven's laptop and it showed up on the projector. "That's the bibliography." I said to Miss Perry who looked it over.
"Well done." she smiled at us and let us know that we could sit down. We handed her the poster and the essay and I unplugged Heaven's laptop as the projector continued to light up the dark History classroom. Heaven and I made our way to our seats and got a few comments from people and high fives.
"Next group is Amir and Justin." Miss Perry called as they got set up. I looked at Amir, someone who I used to be best friends with but things just changed. I'm not loner mean mugging him but we don't speak. And I don't speak to Renee either but I do talk to Tiffany...she's the mother of my child, HIV or not.
Heaven took her laptop and put it in her bag, 'We did really good." she smalled at me in the low lit classroom.
"Of course we did." I high fived her and our hands locked together but soon she held onto my right hand and I held onto her left. Siting next to her was already a big step at one point and now holding her hand and having a casual conversation with her was a long process that I never thought we'd complete. The end of March and we came together finally, well not finally. We're just together. I rubbed each one of her fingers slowly as Amir and Justin began their slide.
Ever since that day Heaven and I kissed in that bakery, I was worried that I rushed it and I'm hoping that I didn't. I know I was saying some things to her and it pushed her a little. I just don't want to force anything anymore. You know? We didn't kiss on the lips again after that. Just on the cheek or on the corner of the lips. But I don't know if she wants to take it slow or start where we should have started a long time ago. We do hold hands once in a while but when we really feel like it or I feel prideful. Heaven does allow me to drop her home once in a while and I enjoy that because her she lets me go with her to get Kia from school and Kia finally gave me a hug after being afraid of me so long. But I can't hug her first, she has to hug me first or she'll get scared.
"Your hands get sweaty sometimes." I said feeling around the palms of her hands.
Heaven slipped her hand away, "Rude." she said.
"It's only obvious." I said pulling her hand back. "But it doesn't bother me that much." I said.
We mostly sat in silence as Amir and Justin did their presentation and as Amir was walking past me to sit down I stopped him, "Good job." I said. He looked at me for a while and then nodded. I looked at Heaven who was staring at me. 'What?" I asked her.
"He saw us holding hands." she said slipping her hands away.
"I don't give a fuck_." I sucked my teeth and snatched her hand back, 'Stop looking for excuses."
"I'm not." she argued trying to keep my voice down but I talk loud.
"Yes you are. Stop acting , like you're forbidden to hold my hand or something." I said sucking my teeth and rubbing her fingers.
Heaven stayed quiet as I expected she would and I dropped it. I'm starting to think that she doesn't really want this and if that's the case then I can't lie and say forget her but that would really mess me up.
