_My mother keeps acting like she isn't responsible for what my father put me through as his only son. Always expecting perfect grades and behavior. And when something would go wrong he would beat me like crazy and then blame my mother beat her too. And when he started drinking it would get worse. She would yell at me, telling me that she never wanted a son, she wanted a daughter and it was all my fault._
_So after years of not talking to her, I came back and told her that I had a woman in my life named Tasha and we had a son together named Jared. Jared Williams. I was going to marry Tasha and when I told my mother, she was angry at me and shut me out of her life and didn't embrace Tasha or Jared at all._
_Three years went by and Tasha and I still weren't married yet and I found myself in a depressed state all of the time and I would snap on them, making Tasha cry and roll up in a corner and Jared would cry and hold onto her._
_I stopped coming home from work on time. I just went to the bar and drank....drank until I was out of my mind. Kind of like what my father used to do._
My eyes watered and I turned the page quickly only to find that it was ripped out and so was everything after it until it came to the last page where a couple of lines were written.
_My mother loves Heaven and Kia and even Natalie but they will never understand why. Simply because Natalie birthed two girls instead of boys and that's what she wanted. She hated my existence and I began to develop a hate for all..._
There was no more and as much as my head and heart hurt, I wanted to keep reading to find out why I didn't know all of this and what happened to Tasha and Jared. My older brother and another woman my father was with before my mom. I shoved the book under my pillow and went under my blanket. Why the hell didn't I know this? And most importantly, does my mother know about this other woman? Did they die? How?
It took my a while to fall asleep and I woke up early in the morning with crust all around my mouth. I walked into the bathroom that was slowly becoming familiar to me and looked in the mirror. This bathroom reminds me of the one in our old apartment, but it didn't feel as scary in there. It wasn't filled with tears and pleads for a nightmare to end...it smelled more like Lysol.
I washed my face and brushed my teeth and then hopped in the shower, I got back out to use the bathroom and then after I took a shower I wrapped my towel around me. Kia and my mother was up already. My mom got ready quickly so she can go do a job interview and gave us both kisses good bye. There were so many things I wanted to ask her. Scratch that. There are so many things I want to ask my dad.
"Kia, hurry up." I said knocking on her door.
Kia opened the door and I looked at her hair that was in one big puff. "Heaven can you do my hair?" she asked me.
I sighed, "Me and you are rocking the same hairdo today." I told her as I walked back to the bathroom and got the hair brush and gel. I fixed my towel so it wouldn't fall and Kia sat on her bed as I began doing her hair.
"Go to school with a smile today, okay?" I asked her as I toked the bubble out of her hair and slicked it up with gel and brushed it. I put the bubbled back in and fluffed it. "Your hair is almost as long as mine." I smiled at her.
Kia smiled back, "Probably longer." she giggled.
"Don't push it." I joked and started walking back to my rm, "Hurry up." I reminded her.
I opened my closet and pulled out a pair of blue jeans, a beige sweater and brown rain boots. i put on lotion and spray and my deodorant. I went to the bathroom and put my hair in a big puff like Kia's and did my makeup lightly. I grabbed my school bag and put my laptop down in my bag. I might use it for my History project.
