Amish Jedi: In a City Far, Far Away

Episode 10.1 ~ Sandy Cheeks

His blue eyes swim as he gazes at me, twisting his hat in his hands. Of course, he came dressed Amish, I think with a bitter edge to my thoughts.

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" I ask, realizing I'm mad. Really mad. Bull staring down a red cape mad. I'd always thought I would be grateful if he ever showed up on my doorstep—hmmm...

"I was wrong." He swallows hard, his Adam's Apple dropping and rising again. "I should have never done what I did or said all those things. I was being stubborn and stupid." He shakes his head. "I don't want any of it without you. I love you, Zia. I always have...always will."

"You said—"

"It was a lie." He steps toward me, hands out.

I stick my hand up to stop his movement, my palm pressing against his chest. It's the first time we've touched in months, and though strengthened by anger I feel as though I couldn't lift a twig.

"I could never not care about you," he goes on as if I'm not trying to shove him back out the door. "It was the worst sort of lie."

My vision clouds, and I realize I'm crying, or about to. "Wh-y..."

"Zizi...I can't live without you..."

I shake my head. No, no no. "You're Amish."

His gaze drops to his feet.

"You're Amish!" My voice echoes around the hall, but I don't care. My bottom lip trembles.

John doesn't look up at me. "I don't want to be anywhere you're not," he mumbles, peaking up at me with those infuriating blue eyes still as bright as when we were children. 

"But you were baptized?"

"I made a mistake."

I shake my head before he can finish his sentence, and step back into the apartment. "You've ruined everything." I shut the door in his face and bolt it, but I don't leave. My knees give out and I slide to the ground as the sobs force their way out of me.

"Zia," he taps on the door, "please let me in. Let me explain." 

I shake my head but don't respond. I have no breath in me.

A hand rests on my back, "Zia?" Megs says softly. "What's wrong?"

I take a moment to calm myself, but even when I speak it is through sobs. "John...came."

Understanding dawns, wiping away Megs's momentary confusion. "He's here?"

There's another tap on the door and a new voice, "Zia?" 

"That's Jason." Megs grabs the door handle.

I lift myself from the ground and make it to the kitchen table before I crumble into a chair and bury my face in my hands. 

"Stay out here," Jason's voice is harsh.

"She's my fiancé," John argues back. 

"Was," Jason corrects.

"And who are you?"

"I'm Zia's friend," Jason says calm but firm, not realizing how John will take his words. John, who was my only friend until a few months ago.

"Zia," Megs asks, her voice very close to me. "Is it okay for John to come in or do you want him to wait in the hall?"

I just shake my head because I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. He's not supposed to be here. "He...ruin-ed...every-thing," I plead with Megs, lifting my face to look up at her through the haze.