12 | Nexus Allistair

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Chunks of sharp rocks, distinct in sizes, came flying around from the force send forth by my strength, that I had to cover my eyes to shield them from the future injury to the most vulnerable part of my face. Feeling the rapid draining of my energy as to how my power has been continuously used. The scorching pain in my back made me bit my lower lip tightly as my eyes watered.

It isn't complete yet. Just a little more, Kaia Xiel.

Surpass your limits.

“We're not done! Ventus Spicae!” Another shout from a desperate guide, from the wind wizard guy which made me open my eyes.

Instantly, I panicked as I haven't recovered yet, and this little enemy I have within my skin keeps making me lost my focus.

Fuck being broken.

The ability is wind, how can I. . . a reflector skill, Kaia Xiel. That's it!

I closed my eyes tightly and calmed myself, feeling how the rhythm of air changes as they became sharp and piercing, moving in a fast manner, heading to my fragile skin.

Crossing my arms to shield my face, “Pondero,” I cast a reflector spell; a transparent barrier with some dark violet glint above its curve shone from the reflection of the sun, shielding myself from the opponent's attack, making the rhythm of the air changed and the direction that instead of going to me, it came back to them that their shouts of pain echoed in my hearing.

They didn't expect it, that's why they couldn't shield themselves.

While I suddenly felt guilty. Fuck. . .

Is war always like this?

Cruel. It's too cruel.

I froze, as coldness started to creep in my being, having me unable to move from my spot that if ever my opponents attack, I know I wouldn't be able to get away from it. My eyes locked to my trembling palms as I couldn't think of a purpose to continue. . . because why?

Why does war exist for the sole purpose of harming other people?

“Surrendering is the only choice,” I heard his voice, but I couldn't make myself lift my eyes and face him, nor everyone else as my attention was on my trembling hands, as overwhelming fear conquered me.

Feeling the shortness of my breath suffocates me, making me feel nauseous and a sudden chest pain made me hold onto it. Gasping for air as my tears started to form in my eyes.

“It's okay,” he hushed me, as I keep nodding my head. I felt his gentle hand brushed my back, trying to comfort me. “If you won't fight, you'll die. In the world we're living, you have to win to survive. To eliminate the harm, you need to be brave enough to conquer the evils.”

I sighed heavily, calming my body. “I'm okay.” Mabilis kong sabi kahit ramdam ko talaga ang paghihina ng aking katawan dulot sa takot na aking naramdaman.

“Don't say it when you're here, having a panic attack,” he affirmed, as I kept my mouth shut, focused on getting myself.

It's my first time to be out from the castle, and thinking how cruel the outside world is; wherein the castle, you're being protected. They're willing to sacrifice their lives for you. But in the world outside of it, you're the one who'll control your destiny. If you won't fight, you'll die. Just like what Kaellus said.

He didn't speak for a while but I could feel his gaze into me as I tried my best to stand firm even I'm losing balance. He helped me reach the same tree where we camped earlier, as he guided me to sit carefully as if I'm a fragile glass he's so scared to destroy.

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