My Psycho Jock (bxb)

Chapter 20 - The Desire of A Lover

Even when I'm dead, I'll swim through the earth, like a mermaid of the soil, just to be next to your bones.

Jeffrey McDaniel...

     Love is a weird thing. It can be beautiful but harmful at the same time. It can be lethal and deadly and so are human. So, that makes the perfect combination of a damage soul.

Love for Benjamin is the definiton of Edward.

Edward is the definition of his soul. Edward is everything in life he understand and praise. Now that he have Edward by his side, that dangerous desire of love is building inside of him like a caged monster, like a loyal dog with a cruel master, like a best friend who shared all secrets.

Because with time and in the end, all of them will show their true colours and bite back.

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"Why can't you understand that l fucking love you!!!" Benjamin scream his feelings to Edward. Every spat of drool were sticking to Edward face.

And Edward has never been more clueless in his life. He did not know what to do nor what is left for him to actually think.

Benjamin is roughly molesting him with his tongue licking all over his body and faces. He just have to endure it. He is not strong enough to actually protest, so he did the right thing before Benjamin hurt him. He stay still.

Tears brimming down his cheeks as his heart is full of hatred, pain and sadness.

Edward pray for a miracle to happen. Anything that can just get him out of this endless nightmare.

"If you really do love me..." Edward whispered. His gaze is up on the ceiling. "you won't do this to me." His tears become loud sobs.

"If you love me, you would understand me."

Benjamin stop his harassment and turn to look down at Edward. Deep down he also felt the pain and that's why the next thing that happen is beyond God's will.

Benjamin stand up from on top of Edward and proceed to the wall. He punch the wall till the sound of knuckles crack his bones can be heard.

His breathing is rapid and his heart beats faster as his mind shows dark. He was in a state of unconscious control. Everything that pass through his mind might as well be consider as damage or broken.

He did not feel the pain in his hands as the pain in his heart was beyond anything life could describe.

"Ben." Edward call with a slow voice.

Benjamin snap his head towards Edward with furious anger. Edward who had seen the look on Benjamin face back away. Scared if his too closed then there would be no love to live at all.

"Calm down, okay?"

"Don't fucking tell me what to do!"  Benjamin screamed across the room.

Edward with his sobs and tears manage to let out a few words hoping he could ease Benjamin.

" I'm sorry...but...but please calm down. For me...please."

As soon as the word escape Edward lips, Benjamin raged had gone from 100 to 0 percent.

Proving yet another reason why loving someone can either be a miracle or a mistake.

Benjamin gaze was fixed on Edward as he keep staring at him, thingking about how there is nothing else like Edward in the world and of course how lucky and fortunate he is to be able to have Edward in his life. It's a gift that not even God can take away from him. He love Edward as much as any man can love a person.

"Just go to your room."

Benjamin command Edward and turn around. He is disappointed and tired of Edward mind games.

He had love Edward unconditionally and to be mistreated was far from pain.

Edward wipe the tears in his eyes and walk away. As much as he hated which is a lot, he can't help but admitted the slight pang of pain in his chest. A sense of guilt and sorrows he felt for Benjamin. But he threw all of those thought away because he know it is not something you could just understand in one night.

Love is not something you can learn. Benjamin loved for him is not something he can accept because it would either be true or delusion.