My Psycho Jock (bxb)

Chapter 5 Slowly Losing It

         After that night. After that horrid night, my friendship with Benjamin was never the same again. He had become another person. He had become a stranger in fact. He would make my day a living hell by throwing me into lockers, calling me names. Fag, son of a bitch and even worse ones. He would embarrassed me with a slap or a kick in the back of my head and my back. Even if I would just randomly walk through the hall, his gang and him would come up from behind me and kick my ass or knee and cause me to fall flatly on the ground. Then they would laugh at me and hit me again and again and again.

Its like every good feelings that he once had for me had dissipated like dust and disappeared...blown by thin air. It was no longer there. He was not the Benjamin I knew anymore and he would never be because not only had he changed but so did I.

I hated him.

More than anything in this world. He would trash me around with no reasons whatsoever. He expect me to understand his friendship but in the end he was the one who hurt me. The innocent crush I use to felt for him had long gone...rotten. And it will never be there again; ever.

After a year of his torment, we were now 17 years old. I have grown a bit of body fat. I'm not so skinny anymore like I use to be. My face seems to change a little bit too. I've grown taller even if not that tall. I am perfectly fine. I am a normal teenager. Well not that normal if you count the gay part. I swear I get more gay every year.

But Benjamin though. Boy did he grew up to be fine. While I hit puberty like Patrick Star, he grow up looking like a freaking Hollister model. Everyone wants a piece of him and not to mention his the school stud. He play football which had greatly benefit his body muscle. His ripped,tall,handsome, describe him however you want. He's a walking sex god.

But of course, no one would knew what I know. No one would see what I saw. No one would feel what I'm facing through. He would charm the girls and people around him. He would manipulate them into thinking that he is a good person. A person who wouldn't even hurt a fly or all the bullying that he does to me was because he was doing the Lord a favor in getting rid of soon-to-be-hell prisoners. Even my parents trust him more than they should've trust me.

But at the end of the day, he would come to my house and treat me like I'm nothing but a piece of trash; garbage. He make me do his homework which resulted in me not finishing mine. He would beat me just for the joy of it. I would beg him to stop but he would be more violent. He would tell me to beg again. Tell me to scream in fact. As a matter of fact I think he enjoyed torturing me. He can't be a sadist. No he can't. Because if he is...then its over.

So many questions flashed through my mind as to whatever reason he would do this. Why he would do such thing. Why am I should be treated any different from others?

The hate I have for him is wordless. I even tried to kill my self; literally kill myself. That day I decided that no one can actually help me and that no one would really cared if I died at all. I grab the knife from the kitchen and went to my parents room. That'll teach them a lesson they'll never ever forget. I closed the door and sat on the bed. I roll my sleeves up and cut my wrist. It was ridiculously painful that it actually almost snapped me from whatever the hell I was doing. But I ignored the pain. I knew that this kind of pain is nothing compared to the pain that my best friend find happiness in my misery. Pain that my best friend had lost his way in insanity.

Darkness took over me after I cut my wrist and the pain embedded in me for a while. When I woke up, I was in a white room. I don't even need to think twice. I was at the hospital. My mom was sleeping on the sofa in the room.

I haven't seen her in like a week.

I groan as the pain in my wrist were throbbing against my flesh like crazy.

God, why didn't you let me die and spare the life of other good people? Why...???