My Psycho Jock (bxb)

Chapter 16 Reason to Love Someone

“Shame.” I said.

“What?”

“Its a shame. If only I believe you...but what you just said might as well be sick twisted lies...”

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       It was crystal clear. I am never getting out of here. I could try but I would die trying. Like literally die. Benjamin has already out of his fucking mind and there was nothing I can do about him anymore.

Why he turn out the way he is? I have no idea.

      
I thought he had a perfect life ahead of him. A football scholarship, beautiful girlfriends, great friends and many more thing that I could never have in my entire life.

But why me?

What could I possibly contribute to his life that can make him happy or even worth living.

Why would he love a nobody like me?

Wait. Is it even love? Is this...love? Is this what you do when you love someone? Kept them lock from the world?

I play with the food on my plate and think of nothing when suddenly my mouth and mind move on its own accord. “Why me?” The question that had been desperate to get out of me.

Ben look at me as he munch on dinner. His jaw move in the most masculine way as he bite and swallow them.

“What?”

“I mean...why do u...u know...love me?” I ask half heartedly.

Ben put his spoon down, wiping his mouth when he turn to look at me. “Can humans fly?” He ask, squinting his eyes a little bit like he always do.

I frown my eyebrows in confusion. What does flying human had  anything to do with this shit?

“No.”

“Why not?” Ben ask back with those arrogant look plastered all over his face.

“Cause they just can't. Its just the way it is.”

“Exactly.” He grinned. “You finished?”

Before I could say or think of anything, he took my plate and walk to the sink.

What the?

“What does 'exactly' suppose to mean?”

I watched Ben washed the dishes and how his back muscle would move under his shirt back and forth when he make any movements.

He didn't answer.

I sit and waited for him to say anything, anything at all but there was nothing. He didn't even utter a word which was starting to freak the hell out of me.

So I left. I went to the living room and just sit. After the fight, Ben had to clean the mess I make while I just stand in a corner, looking clueless and trying thinking of a possible escape.

There wasn't any. Yet.

“You okay?” He ask leaning beside the kitchen frame wiping his hands. I didn't look at him and I was just not in the mood to do anything at all. So I didn't say a word.

Benjamin sigh and walk back into the kitchen. I look around the room and just think upon myself 'what was I suppose to do?'

After a few minutes, Ben came back from the kitchen and plop himself beside me. I scoot over avoiding any contact with him. I don't know what it is but I just don't think the thought of him touching me would be any pleasant.

Its like I'm traumatized by everything that is happening and the only thing that's happening to me is Ben.

“Babe...when I say 'exactly'...” he sigh heavily. “I meant that, the reason why I love you is just the same as why humans can't fly.”

I stay silent and keep listening to every possible lie that will come out of his mouth.

“Its just the way it is.”

“You don't love me.” I blurted out.

Ben smirked and try to hug my shoulder but fail when I scoot even further away from him as if even his touch could threatened my soul.

“You don't do this to someone you love okay? You don't locked them up like they don't have a life out there...like they don't have a fucking future!!!” Hot tears breamed down my eyes as I spat every word.

My heart couldn't have felt more hurt and torn apart. My mind was too clouded with sadness to even think about anything else. So I just sat there. Crying...more like howling actually.

Pitying myself and what fate has brought upon me. No thought of Ben, of home, of friends...oh wait I don't have any. Nothing. Just me and had always been, myself.

I don't know how long I have been crying but by the time I was done, Ben stand up and walk away. I heard his footsteps going down to the basement room and then it was silent.

He didn't came back up for a really long time so I assume he went straight to sleep and soon after I fall into a deep slumber.

Trying to forget whatever shit is going on.