O2L Adopted a Youtuber

Am I a Bad Person?

Minnie's

Today was a very chill day, nothing special was happening. I had just finished editing a new video and Trevor was going to come over and watch some movies with me.
My lovely father was out of town doing some work for some surprise shit so he left my well being in the hands of Jc, it could be worse.
I was eating a banana when the doorbell rang, I set my good source of potassium down and ran to open it knowing it was Trevor obviously.
"Hey Trev-" I stopped when I wasn't greeted with a fun happy Trevor but a nervous looking wreck.
"Can we talk?" He blurted out.
"Of course babe." He smiled and walked him up to my room.
"Spill your heart." I said as we sat on the bed.
"I'm gay." The words spiked from his lips and I had to do a double take.
"Are you mad? You're mad aren't you, you probably hate me for leading you on again, but I'm sorry Minnie I really am."
"I'm not mad."
"So how do you feel then?"
"I don't know to be honest." my voice stayed very monotone.
"I just didn't want to hurt you."
"I want you to be happy Trevor and however that is then I will support it my feelings don't matter in this situation."
"Minnie yes they do, you're feelings always matter."
"I can't change anything, this is life right now and I just have to deal with it."
"Minnie I'm sorry I hate seeing you like this."
"It's not your fault, you are who you are and I love you no matter what we'll always be best friends."
"You still wanna watch that movie?"
"You know what don't take this the wrong way but I'm not really in the mood maybe you should go." I said trying to sound very soft and sweet I didn't want to sound rude at all.
"Oh um ok." He found his own way out and I let myself lay on the bed.
Once I knew he was gone I let the thoughts take over me. To say the least these thoughts weren't good ones, the same question running over in my head over and over again.
"Am I bad person?" You may wonder why I ask myself this, well it's because I feel hurt. I feel led on, sure I am happy for Trevor I want nothing more then for him to be happy but what about my feelings. My feelings for him were coming back at full force and then him just dropping that bomb on me, it hurts.
I didn't want to feel like this, I wanted to be a hundred percent happy for him and just throw my feelings away and move on, but my heart is young and when it loves it loves to its full extent. I don't  even know who to talk to about this, would everyone just think I'm a horrible person and overall selfish?
A knock on the door took me out of my thoughts I whipped the tears I didn't even know had fallen away and got up to open the door only to be brought into a warm embrace by Jc.
"So he told you."
"Yeah, and I'm so happy for him."
"But are you happy?" I let go and looked up at him.
"If I'm honest, no."
"Your feelings matter you know."
"But it probably took him so much to come out I can't be upset."
"You're not a bad person Minnie."
"Yes I am."
"How about this, you clean yourself up and I take you to get ice cream and we'll go you to your favorite cliff, I would never do that for a bad person." I smiled a bit and nodded.

After all that preparation we finally made it to the cliff, a lot of things have happened here in my life, I really don't even want to think about some of those things. Sitting there quietly eating our ice cream was really peaceful and needed to be quite honest.
"There are so many more boys you know."
"I know but I've never loved anyone but Trevor, I'll get over it there's nothing I can do about this."
"You don't sound to sure about that." It was silence for a few seconds while I thought about it, he was right, I wasn't sure about much of anything.
"What if no one else loves me, what if that was it?" I said looked up at him and he just laughed.
"It's not funny Jc."
"Minnie I'm sorry but it's not over, you'll get so many more boys in the future this isn't it, it's funny that you think it is though."
"I just really loved him and now I'm being a bad person by being upset."
"You're not a bad person, you're a human."
"A bad human."
"No a good one, you have a heart of gold Minnie, you're too good for this world."
"Lying is a sin Jc." I smirked a bit trying to hold in my laugh.
"I see that smile you know you wanna laugh, c'mon be happy." He took his hands and pushed my lips up into a smile.
"You're too pretty to not being smiling, you're gonna find a boy one day and be ultimate goals."
"I'm bout to be sixteen in a week, it'd be nice it that boy would appear sooner than later."
"You can't rush love."
"But what if I try hard enough."
"No, you gotta let love find you Minnie."
"I guess you're right."
"The wise Jc is always right."
"Alright Justin now take me home it's getting cold."
"Anything for the princess." He laughed and picked me unexpectedly taking me to the car.