If Only You Knew

Chapter 1

Bianca's POV

BRINNNG!

Ugh... the 2nd end period bell. Which means the third period of the day is about to start.

I was all standing alone in the corridor now, it seems like everyone else already left for their class. I glanced at the pills, that I still had yet to take, and metally groaned. Whatever, I don't want to be late to class, I'll take it later.

I sighed, taking out my satchel and my books from the locker and rushed to class.

*

Before I could walk into the classroom, I heard my name being called, "Bianca!" I turned around, it was my teacher, Mrs. Sanders. I smiled at her, and she handed me two sheets of staple paper. They were my hand-up from last week's test.

"Great job again, Ms. Braxton." She smiled. I looked down at my test. An A. I couldn't help but grin as I walked out the classroom.

The corridor was swarmed with students trying to get to their lockers and some on their way to the cafeteria.

I sauntered through the crowd. I didn't really have any reason to rush. No friends to meet up with to let them know about the hot gossip or no boyfriend to make out with in front of my locker. Simply put, no one.

People laughed and snickered at me as I pushed pass in the corridor. Some pointed at my face, my hair, my clothes. I don't think it's that bad, it could have been worse. I wasn't sure how but I knew it could have. Plus, I was used to it anyways.

I mean I've been made fun of all my life. For being too different than all the others.

I've been called fat. Ugly. A Slut. The last one, confuses me though. I mean I'm only 15 and I don't sleep around with guys or have even slept with any at that matter.

I finally reached my locker, but before putting in the combination I glanced to my right. It had become somewhat of a habit of mine. All so I can see my locker neighbor.

His perfect eyes met mine for just a second. We had every single class together but he hasn't, not one time, ever spoken to me. It's like I'm invisible.

None of that mattered though, seeing him is enough. He's so cute and his dimples are just... breathtaking. I turned my head away from him and got out my lunch.

"Hey babe!" He said and a clear smooching sound could be heard. Alison, that his girlfriend. Oh, how I wish I was her. Even a minute would suffice.

She giggled and from the corner of my eyes, I watched them. His hands were hugging her by the waist. I always become jealous when I see him with her but it still wasn't something I could look away from.

I desired that more than anything. I wanted someone to be here, someone that I could talk about everything with. Who I can hug when I'm down. Someone who will understand.

But I can't. Just if I actually was lucky enough to find a friend, a real one, it would be all for naught and in the end, they would just be hurt when they find out my secret.

I just want to cry. I want to have a friend, a close relationship with someone, but I know that I can't.

Cause I know what would happen if I was to tell them, they'd be angry and eventually leave. And so I'll be left even more hurt than I am now.

I shut my locker, keeping my head down so I wouldn't have to look at him and his girlfriend's happy state.

I sprinted through the school's exit and went onto the football field. Nobody was here, as I'd preferred it. Empty, just like my purpose for existence.

I sat on the same stand that I sit on every day when I have to eat lunch. It might sound horrible but it could rain or snow and I would come out to sit on this stand.

Thankfully though, it's a bit cloudy but bright out today, and a nice 75 degrees.

I began to munch my salad, taking sips of my water from time to time. This is what I eat for lunch every day. It's only a must. I'm short and stubby. There was no way I could just eat cheeseburger and fries everyday, like other girls can and still look flawless.

So yeah, my life was horrendous. I'm such a loner, I had no friends. Haven't ever even had a single one. No parents either. I live with my 22 year old sister. Don't get me wrong, she's done a fine job of taking care of me and I love her with my entire heart but she's never home. She's still in college and has to work a lot. So nevertheless I was still alone.

I felt a vibration in my pocket, guess it was time to take my pills. I pulled out the prescribed medicine that I had to take every so often and gulped two down dry.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket to check the time. Dang it, I'm going to be late. I raced into the school, running as fast as my legs would take me.

Great, now I have to pass through the cafeteria. I stopped running and decided to pass close to the walls in order not to make a scene. Unfortunately that wasn't enough, people still stared and pointed like they normally do.

"Hey Bianca, don't got any friends? Then you can't sit in the cafeteria!" Luke shouted from wherever he sat.

He's bullied me since the day I first set foot in this school. I was forced to learn how to ignore him over the years so that's exactly what I did, as I always do.

Once I was finally out of the cafeteria, I jogged to the stairs and began climbing them. Before I could even reach half way up though, a heavy wave of nausea struck me. Great. My legs had also started buckling, but I kept walking up the stairs. I can make it.

Unfortunately, on the last step, my knee somehow bent further than I had expected it to. My foot slipped on the tile and I fell onto my back. Damn, I allowed my weakness got the best of me.

"Oh, wow, are you okay?" I heard his angelic voice say.

"Um, yeah sure I'm okay, I was simply greeting the floor." I tried to lift myself off the floor, but I couldn't do that either.

A hand stretched out in front of mine and lifted by head to see Cameron looking at me. My shaking hand raised a little and drifted towards his, trying desperately to grasp it but that wasn't enough.

"Come on, you can do it." He smiled a bit, his hand still waiting for mine. Someone I'd gathered enough strength to grab onto it, maybe his smile contained magic, I wouldn't be surprised. He pulled me up once he'd gotten a solid grip. "Thanks." I nodded and walked away quickly, so that I wouldn't have to awkwardly face him any longer.

Cameron just helped me. Like he actually not only just only helped but held my hand in the process. I was so elated I couldn't help but smiled to myself.

Wait, that didn't mean a single thing to him. Nevermind, it hurts. It hurts a lot.