Caspar

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"I can't believe I have to do this again. I love you Caspar. You bring joy to the whole world, but even more you bring joy to me. Remember when we met you were being beat up and I saved you. Well you saved me everyday after that. Please please don't let me down." Joes words hurt me.

All I want to do is grab his hand. To tell him I won't ever let him down. To hold him close. But I can't move I am frozen. I try to wiggle my toes or move my fingers or even open my eyes I can't.

I hear Troye and Connor come back into the room.

"Joe I think we have to go" I hear Troye say.

I feel Joe cuddle closer to me. All I want is to hold him, I want him to stay.

I feel Joe move so his lips are next to my ear.

"I love you Caspar Lee, I always have and I always will. And if you wake up from his we are getting married." Joe whispers so no one can hear.

He kisses my cheek, his lips linger on my cheeks and I feel a tear fall on to my cheek. I feel the bed move as Joe gets up and then the sound of the door closing, then suddenly reopening .

"Wait Casp I forgot! Merry Christmas." Joe says "I love you."

The rest of the night I lay there cold and alone unable to move or speak. I feel like it should hurt, that I should be screaming in pain, yet I feel nothing. Occasionally Doctors or nurses come in and check on me. I can't tell if it's been minutes or hours time seems to have stopped.

Then suddenly I feel a weird tickle on my feet that slowly spreads to the rest of my body.

"He is coding get the paddles!" A Doctor yells

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