Falling Out Of Love

Chapter 9: Welcome to Parenthood

Jenny's POV:

His kisses were slow and passionate, just how they used to be. As my hands roamed over his naked body, they felt his bones sticking out. His body looks nothing like it used to a month ago. Cancer has taken a lot from him. He didn't deserve to get cancer, he didn't deserve for his wife to cheat on him, and he damn sure didn't deserve for his wife to get knocked up by her boss. Was it a mistake to leave him so many years ago? Am I still in love with him?

I slid my ring off of my left ring finger and pulled him close. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Derrick asked, knowing it was wrong. Instead of replying with words, I silenced him with my lips.

“Jenny, what is wrong with you? You've been acting weird for the past few days.” Brandon questioned, snapping me out of the memories of two days ago.

Saying I feel guilty is an understatement. I felt disgusted with myself. I feel like I not only cheated on my husband, but my whole family. I did the same thing to Brandon as Derrick did to me so many years ago. I didn't have a chance to stop the tears from rolling down my face. “We need to talk.”

The look on his face seemed like he knew. I don't want to lose him but I have to tell him the truth. I don't even know why I slept with Derrick. I felt nothing towards him while we were having sex. I felt pity for Derrick. His wife cheats on him and he finds out he has cancer. “Jenny, talk.”

“I'm so so sorry,” I sobbed as he backed away from me. “It meant nothing to me. I promise you, I felt nothing towards him but pity. I love you and I'm in love with you. I want nothing from Derrick besides co-parenting and a friendship.”

“Tell me.” He stated through greeted teeth. “I want to hear you say it.”

“I cheated on you with Derrick. Bab-”

“Save it, Jenny.” He walked to his closet and picked out his suit case, throwing clothes in it.

“So, we can't talk about this? You are just going to leave and walk out? I said I was sorry and I-”

He let out a humorless laugh. “So your apology makes this okay? No, nothing you can say can make the pain go away. Sorry is not enough, never was, never will be. Leaving is gonna be tough, but I have to do it for me.”

“I don't expect my apology to make this okay. I just want you to tell me your feelings and tell me you don't hate me.” I tried walking close to him, but he just moved further away.

“I gave you everything I ever could. I worked my ass off for you and our family. I did everything you wanted me to. What if when you had sex with him, you realized you were in love with him? What would you do with me? Leave me like I was nothing, is what you would do. Want to know something? You are the biggest selfish bitch I have ever met. Did you ever think how cheating on me would affect the kids? Since I've met you, it has always been about your happiness. Fuck everyone else. Our whole fucking marriage has been all about you. I'll be here tomorrow morning to take the boys to school.” Without another word, he left me in our big bedroom that felt like it was closing in on me. I knew this was my fault; I shouldn't have been so stupid.

There was a knock on the door before it opened, revealing Bentley. “I'm so sorry Bentley. I'm sorry that I couldn't be the mom you and your siblings deserve. Just know that I do love you all with everything in me.”

He wrapped me in a hug as I cried in his shoulders. “Mom, tell me what happened.”

“I cheated on Brandon with Derrick. It was a mistake and I don't ever want it to happen again. Not that it matters anymore, Brandon's gone.”