Falling Out Of Love

Chapter 1: Hidden Feelings

TEN YEARS LATER

When do you know you are no longer in love with your significant other? When the heavy passionate kisses turn into little pecks? When those late night conversations turn into going straight to bed? When holding hands turn into one person walking in front of the other? When long hugs turn into quick hugs? When calling each other nicknames turn into real names? When you start thinking about how it was in the beginning? How do you walk away from someone who you’ve spent fifteen years with? Could it be possible that after all this time that one person can still cross your mind and make you question your relationship with your husband? Could it be after all these years you could fall out of love with your husband? “Jenny, what the hell is wrong with you?” Jessica questioned, pulling me out of my thoughts.

Thinking of a quick lie, I replied smoothly, “Thinking about Bentley’s seventeenth birthday tomorrow. My oldest baby is growing up on me.” Lying to my best friend may be wrong on many different levels but I can’t tell her. No one knows how I feel besides Bentley. He understands me, he doesn’t judge me and I’m so grateful for that. He doesn’t ever tell me what I need to do, he just listens to me. He is seriously my best friend.

“I know. All our kids are growing up and we are getting old.” Jessica laughed loudly, believing me.

“Hey! We aren’t old until our youngest are turning eighteen!” I retorted. “Hayden, Hunter, don’t play so ruff!” I yelled at my youngest boys that were rough housing on the playground. There were other smaller kids playing and I didn’t want anyone to get hurt. Especially Hunter, that boy is so damn clumsy.

“Junior, be nice!” Jessica yelled at Mike JR. He is ten, the same age as Hayden and Hunter. Of course, they are best friends. “Boys will be boys.” Jess laughed.

“At least you don’t have three. Well four, if you include Brandon. You only have two if you include Mike.” I joked. I loved my boys, but they were a handful at times; all my kids were. “My husband acts like a kid sometimes.”

“You are right about that. I don’t see how you do it with all those kids. So what is new in life?” She asked, trying to make conversations.

“It gets easier. That a lie, it just gets easier to deal with. In two months, Brandon and I will be married for fourteen years and together for fifteen. It’s hard to believe.” I replied, looking down at the bigger rock on my finger. Our tenth anniversary, Brandon took me to the Bahamas and we renewed our vows, giving me a new ring.

“Almost seventeen years for me and Mike. I would have never thought that I would be married to him and be the mother of his children. I’m truly blessed that I have him.” She sighed dreamily. I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. I wish that was how I felt about Brandon, still. Where did the love go?

I checked the time and noticed it was almost five. “We’ve been here a while and I need to go make dinner for the family.” I stood up and hugged Jessica tightly. “Hayden! Hunter! Let’s go!” I yelled.

“I guess we are going to head out too. Junior!” She called out as all three of the boys came running towards us.

“Tell Auntie Jess bye.” I said to the boys.

“Bye Auntie Jess, we love you. Bye Junior, we love you.” The boys said in unison.

“See y’all tomorrow. Love y’all.” I gave Junior a hug as the boys hugged Jessica. We walked in the opposite directions to our cars. “So boys, did y’all have fun?” I questioned.

“Yeah!” They shouted in happiness. As we buckled ourselves in, Hayden started to speak. “Is sissy Cynthia coming home from collage tomorrow?” Cynthia goes to collage a few hours away and most of the time she comes home for our family Sunday dinners but for the last three Sundays she hasn’t been able to make it for reason unknown to us.