Going The Distance (Michael Jackson Fan Fiction)

Waking up to Apologies

Shakespeare once said that absence from those we love is self from self - a deadly banishment. I never understood until now. Even though Michael and I were frequently apart from each other physically, spiritually we were always together. But now it was different; we were apart in every single way possible. It's been a week since I created all this mess and God knows how much I want to reverse the clock back to two years ago. I would have told him then if I knew how it would turn out. But no matter how much I hoped for a second chance, it wasn't going to come.

I hadn't had a good rest all week until last night and it was a relief. No nightmares, no tears, no guilty thoughts, just sleep.

I woke up to the sun shining brightly through my eyelids; this was that one moment I liked to cherish in the day before my reality crushed my happiness. As I tried to sit up, I felt a heavy pressure in my abdomen, causing me to crash back into the pillows below me. Confused, I raised my head high enough to see the full length of my body, but the confusion built up even more as I realized what had been pressing down on me; It was Michael's head. He was sleeping, his mouth slightly open as a soft snore escaped his lips. His eyes looked as if he was crying, his expression was slightly pained. It hurt me to know that I caused this, he was already under so much stress and it didn't help that I put even more on him.

I bit down on my lip as I reached over and ran my fingers through his hair, the softness giving me a sense of therapy. I felt the hand that he had placed on my stomach lightly grab the silk that I wore. He heavily inhaled as he regained his consciousness. His eyes fluttered open before he let out a sigh and quickly sat up.

"You're up..." He whispered, looking slightly embarrassed.

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Yeah. What are you doing?" I had been staying in the guest house for the past week. Michael and I hadn't been acknowledging each others presence, which was honestly a childish way to handle our problems.  

"Nothing. I'm gonna leave now." He started to get up, but I grabbed his hand, stopping him in his place.

A sigh escapes his lips as he laced our fingers together, his eyes focused on the two hands. I was hesitant as I tried to comfort him without causing any issues. I slowly inched closer to him and placed my free hand to his hot cheek.

It took me seconds to realize what I needed to do. I had been completely asinine to the fact that I had been wrong and not only was I wrong, I had been egotistical.

I made a senseless mistake and I was going to be mature enough to fix it. I removed my hand from his cheek to his chin, causing him to shift his attention to me. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I sighed and slowly made my way off of the bed, releasing my hand from his. I walked over to a window that was placed on the far left side of the room. I placed my hand on the cold glass and slowly shut my eyes, sighing once again.

"I can't explain why I didn't tell you, it's too hard, but I should because you deserve answers." I opened my eyes to the astonishing view of Neverland; it was such a shame that such a place like this had been the setting of something so execrable.

"Why I hid my miscarriage from you is beyond me," I admitted "but I am incredibly sorry. You had every right to know and I hadn't told you, I completely understand if you don't forgive me. But I didn't intentionally hurt you Michael, that's the last thing I wanted to do, I just felt that it was the only thing to do. Now I know that I shouldn't have done what I did, but understand that it honestly wasn't out of selfishness; I wanted to keep you focused on the right things. I can't explain how much I love you and I'm ready to start the rest of my life with you, as long as you're willing to." I turned to look at him; his eyes were focused on the wood beneath our feet.

"I'm sorry Michael and if you want to call off-"

He held his hand up to stop me. "I didn't come up here to hear this." He shook his head, "I honestly don't even know what I came up here for." He dropped his head into his hands, "You hurt me, there is no doubt that I'm hurting, but I'm trying to forgive you because I love you and I want to make you my wife. This past week has been- I can't even explain." He paused, his face started to show a sign of confusion. "What I want to know is why you told me the day after I asked you to marry me, I mean you could have waited."

My eyes widened involuntarily, "That's the thing, I couldn't. Every time I looked at this ring" I held up my left hand, "I felt guilty; I wanted to give it back to you and tell you that you deserved an honest wife."

"You don't want to be with me anymore?" he questioned silently.

I shook my head slowly as I responded, "That's not what I said..."

He got up and walked up to me, grabbing both of my wrist "Then what are you saying?"

I looked down and furrowed my eyebrows together, "You deserve better than me Michael, or what has become of me. I've broken a strong trust between us; how can you marry someone like that?" I looked back up into his eyes.

"Because I know the woman that I'm in love with would never intentionally hurt me, and as hard as it might be, I'm willing to do everything I can to forgive you. I love you and I want to spend the rest of forever with you." He placed his hand at the back of my head before planting a tender kiss on my forehead. "I love you too much to let you go." He whispered.

At this point my heart was threatening to jump out of my chest; just hearing this man put so much faith in me, made me breathless. I couldn't explain it really. Why had he gain this effect on me? Only God could know, but one thing was for sure: I loved this man and I was willing to do whatever it takes to make it up to him.

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Sorry for the long wait, this chapter had been written in so many different scenarios, it's crazy... Comment and tell me how you think this story is so far, in my opinion I feel like its lacking a little, but that's because I want the best for my readers.Anything you think I should improve on? Just slip me a little comment please, I beg you! I'm dying to hear what you think!

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Goodbye for now my fellow readers :3