Torn

30.

     "So, there you have it.  Now you know.  That's the whole story Hannah.  Do you think that there is any way that you would be able to forgive me?  I held my breath awaiting her reply.

     Hannah looked up at me.  "I hate this Mila.  Why didn't you just tell me?"  

     I smirked.  "Like you would have listened!  As soon as you saw the two of us together, you bolted.  There was no time for an explanation.  And, as for telling you about the whole Darry rape thing, well I was ashamed!  I just wanted to forget the whole thing!  I didn't want you to look at me with pity in your eyes.  Kind of like you are doing now."

     Hannah shifted uncomfortably.  "So what happens now?  Did Mike mean it when he said he loved you, or was that just something he said during sex?"

     I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  "I don't know Han."

     Hannah jumped up off the floor.  "This isn't fair!  You have Josh!  Why can't you just be happy with that?  Do you really believe that Mike loves you?"

     "Like I said before Han, it's not that simple..."

     "Why?"  She exploded.  "Why is it not that simple?"

     I sighed again.  "Because I'm pregnant."

     Hannah's face paled.  "You really don't know who the father is?"

     I shook my head from side to side.  A tear slipped down my cheek.  "No."

     "When will you know?"  Hannah asked, coolly.  She stared at me with a look close to hatred.  As if all of this wasn't hard enough on her, now she has to deal with fact that I may be carrying her boyfriend's baby.

     "I have to wait until the baby is born and then I can have a DNA test done to determine who the father is."  I looked down at my stomach unsure how far along I was, but scared as hell.  

     "Does Josh know?"

     I froze.  My blood ran cold in my veins.  "You wouldn't.  Hannah, no!  You can't be the one to tell him.  It has to come from me!"

     A look of power flashed in her eyes.  "Tell Mike that it's over between the two of you.  Don't ever tell him that there is a possibility of him being the father of your baby, and then sure.  I'll keep quiet."

     "That's blackmail."  I seethed. 

     Hannah wore a victorious smile.  "It's not so much fun when it's you that has something to lose, now is it Mila?"

     "You are acting like I planned all this!  I swear to you Hannah, I did not set out to hurt you.  You are my best friend."

     "Well, you sure have a fucked up way of showing it."  Hannah walked over to my apartment door.  "I'll give you two days to make up your mind.  After that, I'm telling Josh."  She shook her head sadly.  "It's not only relationships here that you are destroying.  What about the band Mila?  How are you going to live with yourself if Josh can never get past this?  What if Marianas Trench breaks up?  That is Josh's whole world!"  Without another word, she was out the door.

     I sighed and flopped down onto my bed.  I lay on my back staring at the ceiling.  My mind whirled with confusion.  Josh or Mike?  Who was the father to this baby?  W