Torn

23.

     We sat in a small room at a small metal table.  The paint on the walls was stone grey and the floor was  concrete.  I chewed nervously on my bottom lip.  How long was this going to take?

     A detective entered the room.  He blonde hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and her green eyes were cool, unreadable.

     "Hello Mila, Mike.  My name is Detective Swan.  I am sure that you both are well aware as to why you were called in here today."  She paused.  I glanced at Mike and then back at her.  "After careful examination of the crime scene and extensive analysis of the evidence, we have concluded that Mike's actions were indeed that of self defense.  We read your hospital records and with trauma you received from the rape and the DNA evidence present on yourself as well as at the site of the rape, we had more than enough evidence to take to court if it came down to it.  Both cases reinforced both of your statements.  I am truly sorry for what you have both had to endure.  I just hope that this will put some sort of closure on this for you.  We can set you up with an excellent rape counselor if you need to talk to someone."  She seemed nice enough, but in a no nonsense kind of way.  I guess it was kind of a prerequisite for a job like that.

     "So... that's it?  It's really over?"  Mike asked quietly.

     "Yes.  I just need you both to sign a couple of papers, and release your belongings to you.  You are free to go after that."  Detective Swan pushed the papers towards us and held out a pen.

      "What are these?"  I asked as I scanned the paperwork.

     "Forms to release your belongings to you.  Sometimes we need to use people's personal effects, in cases such as these.  But, in your case since none of this is going to court, they are just being released back to you."

     I signed my copy and pushed it back towards her.  Mike did the same.

     She gathered up our papers and thanked us for our time.  She shook both our hands as we stood up.

     "Oh, and Mila, "  She started, her green eyes softening.  "It does get easier."  With that being said, she turned and walked out of the room.

     That put Detective Swan in a whole new light for me.  She was someone who had been there, and made it out the other side.

     Mike and I went to the front desk and collected our things.  Mike held open the large double doors for me and we stepped out into the sunshine.  I felt the warmth wash over my body and took a deep breath.  I looked over at Mike.

     "It's really over now, right?"

     He nodded.  "Yes, it really is."

     We walked to the park and sat on one of the wooden benches.  The breeze tickled my neck as my hair blew gently around my face.

     "I just wanted to say thank you again.  I want you to know that I probably wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for you.  Mike, you saved my life."

     Mike smiled at me.  "No problem Mila and I would do it again if I had to."  

     Mike bent his head down and before I realized what was happening we were kissing.  He gently caressed my cheek.  Or kiss deepened and he pulled me closer.  Everything that I had been feeling earlier all washed away.  I pulled back and looked deep into his eyes.  We both knew that what we were doing was wrong, yet neither of us did anything to stop it.

     Mike ran his hand down my arm and rested his hand on my hip.  "Do you want me to stop?"

     My mind screamed yes!  But the word no slipped out before I knew it.  He kissed me again, longer, deeper.  It was as if we were the only two people in the world.  As if nothing mattered in that moment but us.

     An image of Josh flashed into my mind and I abruptly pulled away.  My hand flew to my lips.  Why on earth had I just done that?  How could I be doing this to Josh?  I loved him!  I would never want to hurt him.

     "Mike, I, we....." I was so flustered.  "You are dating Hannah, and I am dating Josh!  This just isn't right."  "Oh my god!  Hannah!  What the hell was I doing to my best friend?  What on earth had possessed me to act like that?  If Hannah ever found out about this it would destroy her, along with our friendship.  And Josh, how on earth could I do that to him?  At this moment I was no better than Darry.  I was doing the exact thing that I had hated him for doing.

     Mike ran his fingers through his dark hair.  "Yeah, you're right."  He was quiet for a minute.  "Mila...  I don't know what to say."

     "A mistake!  It was a mistake!  We screwed up.  We will just have to pretend that nothing ever happened.  We just got caught up in everything is all."  I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest.

     "Yeah,"  He said quietly.  "Never happened."

     I licked my lips and looked away.  I didn't understand what was happening.  Why all of a sudden did I have these feeling for Mike?  I shifted uncomfortably.  "Maybe I should go.  Josh is going to want to know how we made out today, so I better be home when he calls."

     Mike nodded in agreement.  "Uh huh.  I should probably give Hannah a call too."

     We both stood.  Instinctively, I found myself reaching for his hand.  I quickly caught my mistake and pulled my hand away.  Unfortunately, I was not quick enough because Mike saw my blunder.  

     "I, uh, yeah.  Bye."  I waved goodbye and started the walk home without even a backwards glance.