Damaged » h. styles au

Chapter 23 - Harry

warning: this chapter needs to be rewritten. I'll work on it and as soon as I repost it, I'll let you know.

                                                                23.  

                                                          ●•Harry•●

I had despair in my eyes and I made sure to let her know that as I had her skin tightly gripped between my fingers. She even tried to shrug off for a sec, but I couldn’t let her go; not just yet. I gotta admit, I liked the texture of her skin contrasting with mine; so cold and soft, almost feeling as if I was touching a feather. I could keep my hand there for maybe too long, but at the same time, I couldn’t. I wasn’t there to hold her; I was there to prevent her from going further. I was there to stop her from walking away.

It shouldn’t be a big deal after all; I wasn’t afraid of taking care of Angel all by myself, not at all. It would be a pleasure being with her, getting to spend time with that little preciousness, just as usual. So, clearly, that wasn’t the reason why I was still holding her. And it wasn’t because I wanted to have her near either – at least, that wasn’t the only reason. I won’t lie and say I didn’t get excited when Angel told me she was going to be there, or minutes earlier when the little girl said they were talking about me –, but it was specially because of her choice of words.

It had to mean something. It had to be the second chance I’ve been praying for during all those years; the sign that I’ve asked God a thousand times, to let me do the right thing, to let me fix my mistake. Maybe I couldn’t go back in time and change what I’d done, but I was at the same situation now, and I could make it different. I was going to make it different. Kirsten wasn’t going to walk away, even she wasn’t bearing to see me, even if she thought that was the best thing for her, I wouldn’t let her go home.

It was a pretty usual situation, wasn’t it? But I’d learnt with time that destiny turns everything usual into a disaster in a short matter of minutes. When the words left her mouth I felt my heart in my throat, her following actions making me choke on air. That couldn’t be a coincidence. It was too much alike to be simply a coincidence. Even the look in her eyes was the same that… - I couldn’t. I couldn’t even bear the thought of her name. I had to push her away. She was buried in the back of my mind and there she would stay – …she gave to me.

I could feel my eyes watering with tears, at the same time watching Kirsten’s confused look glued on me. She had her eyebrows furrowed and I could tell she was asking me what the f–ck was going on right now. And I bet those were her exact words.

I swallowed hard, putting myself together, and after what seemed long minutes, I opened my mouth to speak, her arm still under my grasp. There was something pleasant about touching her, feeling her scent and the fact that she didn’t fight to get rid of my hands. There was this little thing that sparkled inside of me slightly everytime I thought of her – and trust me, I’ve been doing that a lot lately – and the fact that I was now holding her made me feel like I was a teenager again; having the same feelings I had the day I gave my first kiss.

“I-…” I tried to start talking, but the words still didn’t leave my mouth. What should I say? I couldn’t tell her the reason why I was still holding her, I couldn’t let her know why, for a single moment, I got so fragile. “Look, I know you don’t like me, and I’m sorry for showing up in your life, but Angel has nothing to do with that. If you love that little girl, you won’t leave her because of me,” I finally got to say the words, and Kirsten rolled her eyes at me. But there was something under that rebel behavior; maybe I’d seen… Fear? “I’m not taking your place, Kirsten.” At those words, her eyes widened, and I had to hold back the urge of laughing at her. So that’s what she was thinking? That I was taking her place? There was no way I could do that, Angel loved that girl too much to let anyone ever replace her.