The Life of Charlotte Diaz

Chapter 12. Mind Set

"Charlie, dear, is that you?" I heard as soon as I walked into the door.

I plopped my bag down on the couch and blew out a breath. I had gotten absolutely nowhere and frankly, I didn't know how to feel about that either. I was thrilled that I had conquered the fear of seeing those eyes of his again in person, but was filled to the brim with uncertainty.

I knew there was no going back after today. I wasn't going back to who I was before today.

However, I was never going back to see him again. This was all a big game of cat and mouse to him. There was no way in Hell I was going to be the mouse that kept anticipating the cat's next move. I chewed on my bottom lip, my mind going in a frenzy.

I had no clue what to do after this. I graduated in just around four months. If I could just get through the next four months keeping up this facade then I'm sure everything would be alright. All I had to was endure another four months and I was out of here. I could create a new life. A fresh start. A new slate.

I nodded to myself just as my grandma came around the corner with those concerned blue eyes of her's. A smile pulled across her lips at the sight of me. "You get more and more lookin' like her, ya'know that, doll?" Her southern twang mixed in with her sentence and I let out a silent chuckle. It reminded me of my own mother's southern accent that was clearly heard every time her sweet voice was to be met to the ear.

"Anyways, dinner's done sweetpea. I even made some apple pie for dessert; your favorite," with one last smile towards me, she turned on her heel and walked into the kitchen.

Taking that as my cue, I got up from the couch I was sitting on and walked into the kitchen myself.

My stomach rumbled at the scents.

* * *

The next morning was hell getting up. I didn't want to get up. My mind still reeling from the events that played the previous day. I was angry that I had gotten nowhere. Damion was a man who simply did what he wanted when he wanted. He wasn't going to stop the letters. And it only made me feel even more nervous for the promise he kept to himself when his time in jail was done.

A tired huff passed my lips as my eyes took a small glance at the clock: 6:13am. This was probably the only thing that I despised more than the bickering students at school: the time they made us get up at. It was unbelievable and the fact that they have get up at ungodly hours of the morning only intensify my current cranky mood.

Before I can dwell on it too much, I flip the covers off and dress myself in some black sweats along with a grey tank top and a deep navy blue sweatshirt. I stepped into my grey boots and pulled my hair into a sloppy bun.

I wasn't in the mood for make-up today, nor in the mood to act confident when I knew I really wasn't. But again, I couldn't go back after yesterday.

I had kneed Nathan his jewels for Christ sake!

Suddenly, my eyes widened and fear made its way to my core. I hadn't seen Nathan since yesterday and that fact alone set my body into a bone chilling hysteria. I had no idea what to expect when I got to school, and to be honest, I really wasn't looking forward to it either.

I took another glimpse at the clock on my dresser to fund I still had fifteen minutes left until I actually had to leave. My lips twisted together in mild thought, contemplating on what to do in this short amount of time that would surely pass like hours on end if I just did nothing.

Taking a nap crossed my mind once, but I shook my head immediately. Even if I tried, sleep wouldn't catch up to me. I took a view at myself in the mirror and grimaced at the baggage that was hanging from my eyes. My skin was pale- a sickly pale- and my lips were a soft pink, so unlike their usual salmon color. My eyes were the worst, though. They looked so drained of color and life. So exhausted. It looked as if I was a cancer patient who had already accepted their fate, and was now just waiting for the inevitable to take place.

My head shook feverishly. I just looked sick. I felt miserable. But not miserable enough to miss school.

I walked into the kitchen and decided to make some coffee for my grandma and I. I only had eleven minutes left and coffee was something I haven't had in awhile.

After five minutes passed I took the pot of coffee and poured a sufficient amount of the caffeinated beverage into the vanilla creamer I put in my cup moments before the coffee was finished brewing.

The heavenly scent of coffee beans and sweet cream filled my nose as I took a sip of the hot coffee. It burned slightly down my throat, causing my eyes to shut tightly but eventually, I became accustomed to the hot liquid and sipped my drink until the clock read 6:45am.

I dipped my cup in the sink and before I walked out of the door with my book bag, I heard my grandmother croak,"Have a good day, my sweet," and then, it was quiet.

* * *

I didn't get as many stares as yesterday. Which was a plus, considering that I loathed the attention and didn't need whispers spreading to Luke and Nathan that I was here.

A sudden smile pulled across my lips when I remembered the young and free-spirited Adilyn. She seemed like such an angle and I bet no one could help smiling when they were within in her presence. It was as if she was her brother's pride and joy. But that left with me with a lingering question of my own: What were they doing at the county jail?

It wouldn't surprise me if Luke or that green eyed dude, Asher, knew anything. But Adilyn? It was heart wrenching to realize that a girl as young as herself would have to visit someone she knew who was in jail.

My heart still feels heavy and my eyes are cast downwards when I feel a tight grip on my shoulder.

The books drop from my hold when pain sears through the shoulder that the bullet wound left years ago. It burned and zapped and I felt like I was being shot all over again. I hated to be touched without my consent. Especially my shoulder. I couldn't help it when the memories of that horrific day came crashing back.

My heart was racing at a thousand miles an hour with my breathing being to grow erratic and hectic.

"Whoa. Hey, hey. It's alright. It's just me. Calm down."

I didn't calm down. But I did feel some of the tension and pain leave my shoulder at the sight of Luke. Confusion swept over in my eyes and I was beginning to feel irritated with his mood swings. Didn't he just tell me to stay away from him?

Obviously sensing the confused state I was in at staring at him, he opened his mouth to speak. "You were at the prison last night," it was more of a statement then a question. He clenched his jaw, as if his next sentence was going to literally pain him to say. "I'm sorry," he finally said, and I cocked my head to the side. "Don't overthink it, alright. Adilyn was really mad when you left and said that if I didn't..." he clenched his jaw a second time and looked up at the ceiling," apologize," it like venom in his mouth," than she would throw tantrums every day until I finally gave in. She wants to see you. Claimed that you promised to play dress-up with her or something." Something in his tone wasn't quite right. It sounded like he was acting to casual with his words; too nonchalant about the whole scenario.

Still, I didn't speak. Surprise, surprise, and just gave him a blank stare. "Oh," he spoke up as fear ignited in his eyes,"and I'm walking you home. Don't you dare shake your head at me," I shot him a death glare. "There's no telling what Nathan will do to you because of your stupidity. Don't take this as an act of kindness. I'm only doing it because I can't stand failing my sister again. Message your grandma and tell her you'll be at my house for a bit doing homework. Adilyn already has a dress for you." He left after that.

I only stood there in a dumbfounded state.

What the hell just happened?