The Life of Charlotte Diaz

Chapter 9. Emotions in Check

     It was Friday, February twenty-eighth today. Just yesterday, I read the letter Damion sent me. Just yesterday, Luke learned something new about me. Just yesterday, I made my vow to never let the man who caused my life to turn upside in seconds, the satisfaction of my fear. 

     I wasn't stupid. I had watched my fair share of crime shows and researched enough about Criminal Behavior to understand that this Damion character was writing to me to establish dominance in this twisted little romance delusion of his. It sickened my insides and caused my heart to lurch painfully but I kept my emotions in check. 

     Damion wanted to try and scare me. He wanted me to fear him, yet respect him, at the same time. The letters he would be sending every year on the same month of the same day would come regardless of whether I told him to stop or not . I think he wanted a reaction out of me. I think he wanted me to write him back and tell him to " 'eff off" or give in to his arrogant ways. 

     But I wasn't doing either. Instead, I had something else in mind that I was planning on doing right after school. 

     I woke a little earlier than usual this morning. At six a.m I was already dressed in a white long tank top with the words 'A Yawn is a Silent Scream for Coffee' on it, with a black cardigan, my light blue skinny jeans, black ankle-high boots, and a smoky grey colored beanie to top everything off. 

     I felt a sense of confidence in myself today. Looking in the mirror, I worried my bottom lip between my teeth at how empty my hazel eyes looked. They may have seemed like a bright and shining color, but if you looked close enough, you would see that there was nothing there. No detected emotions swimming within the depths of my iris. No glints sparkling in my orb. Nothing to describe what I was feeling at all. And for some reason, I was more than fine with that. It meant that no one could look into my eyes and read my like an open book. 

     Today, I refused to be the weak , helpless girl I have been for years now. I wasn't going to lash out at people, but that didn't mean I couldn't still reek of attitude while mute. I was going to make sure that people got it through their dense skull that I was to be messed with no more. 

     Damion was the last straw. If I wanted to defend myself against him, I had to first defend myself against my fellow peers. 

     I pulled my lip out my teeth and watched a smirk slowly crawl onto my face. I knew exactly what that smirk screamed too:

     Have my classmates have another thing coming to them today. 

     I run my hands through the slightly tangled strands of my hair and sigh again, thinking, If I want to be confident, I have to feel confident. And to feel confident, I have to look confident. 

     A scoff makes its way past my lips when the thought even crosses my mind. But I walk to my bed and get down on my knees before I can argue with myself anymore. Than, I pull out the make-up kit my grandmother so graciously bought me two years ago for Christmas. 

     Dragging out the kit, and walking over to my bathroom, I open the contents of it on the counter. Immediately, I'm swarmed  with a variety of colors; all of which range from bright colors, to dark ones. 

     I glance at all the colors, wondering which ones would go well with my outfit. After what seemed like hours, but was merely a few minutes, of thinking, I picked up the eyelid brush and dabbed into the smoky grey. Than, I looked into the mirror, and began brushing the color onto both of my eyelids, all the while making sure I had enough space to paint in the liquid eyeliner. When both eyes were finished and the liquid eyeliner was perfectly placed, I looked down and picked a black brush with soft strands of black strings attached to it. I smiled, grazing my fingers over the soft, silk-like stands, Then, I dabbed it into the pink-ish blush and began coating my cheeks with it in soft, light strokes.