A Slave to Love

Chapter 1: Dead End

When they spotted him, they gave me another pep talk and reminded me that he was a no good asshole and to have fun tonight and show him he couldn't effect me anymore. And I really wanted to believe it.

But an hour later, my friends were off with other people after I told them I'd needed a drink and I'd catch up later, and I was left standing by some unidentified plant near the corner of the staircase, a rum and coke in my hand (alcohol brought to us by Macey's older sister, who was legal), and debating whether I should just leave or see if there was way to 'accidentally' spill my drink on Derek. Ideally, all over his stupid good looking face. 

Macey's house was massive and positively packed to bursting with people. I only recognized about half of them from school, the rest were complete strangers, and I had no desire to interact with any of them. Everyone was drunk and loud and my momentary lapse in moping had restarted again. The thumping bass of some song I couldn't make out from some distant room and the loudness of everyone in here was giving me a headache. 

Or maybe it was the rum and coke. I'd never really drank anything before, so it was equally possible it was the culprit. My mom had given me some of her beer once at home but it had tasted so foul I hadn't been interested in drinking anything else and my mom had nearly peed herself laughing when I tried to choke it down. Though this was definitely less disgusting than the beer was, the more I sipped it, the more it felt like the floor was dipping and swaying like the musical beat was making the floorboards shake like an earthquake.

A wilted and jilted wallflower, I watched as my classmates grinded on their partners to the bass in a way that they apparently considered dancing, but frankly seemed more like a mating ritual. I wasn't normally a fan of that sort of thing, but I was feeling so sorry for myself and the alcohol was just dampening my mood more to the point where I wished I was out there too with some delightful guy who said all the right things and remind me how to have fun, instead of my bitter memories of Derek and the constant vigilance of keeping an eye out for him so he didn't see me standing around alone like a loser.

That reminder had me scanning the crowd for him and when I came up empty, I scanned again, this time trying halfheartedly to find a guy who might save me from my pathetic pity party should Derek show up. If he was going to be around and see me, then I'd find a way to fake having fun to prove I was over it.

There was a guy, on the fringe of a group, a drink in his hand too as he scanned the room like I was doing. Only he didn't seem to have the same level of desperation I did, instead he was leaning against a wall, swirling his plastic cup, studying everyone like it was a particularly dull documentary.

It was hard to get a good look at him though. Even being tall and wearing heels, people kept moving around and passing and blocking my view of him. By the time it had cleared enough for me to get a proper look in, he looked up and caught my eye. 

I flinched so hard I sloshed some of my drink onto my hand and hurriedly took a sip as I pretended to look elsewhere, like I hadn't noticed him at all and was just casually looking around.

I was terrible at this. How did my friends convince me of this again?

I fiddled with my phone, finding a text from Kyle asking how the 'cheering up' and 'revenge plan' was going. I responded with 'kill me now', but he didn't check it immediately and I went fidgety, pretending I was still texting until I was sure stranger guy was no longer looking my way and had forgotten about me staring at him like a weirdo.

After a few minutes of opening and closing every app on my phone, and scrolling through my photo gallery, I gave up and chanced a peek his way again. He was still there and worse yet, he was watching me with amusement, like he knew very well that I was faking being busy since I'd been caught. My stomach churned, from nerves or alcohol or both, but I really didn't feel good.