Secret Admirer

Chapter 40: Avoiding The Hurt

Dreams. That's where I want to live forever and ever. I can dream of what I want and I will get it. I can be spoiled forever. But that's only in my head.

"Another drink Maka?" My mother asks.

"Yes please," I smiled.

My mother, Kami, was a beautiful woman. She looks just like me. She was a very good mother. I just wish she didn't leave me alone with papa.

He drank every day and night. 24/7. It's been like that for years. He got fired from his job and that's when it started. He soon started to cheat and beat on us.

Well not us. He would beat me more than my mom. I don't know why. I guess she couldn't take it anymore that she packed up while I was at school and left without saying a good bye.

Now, here we are, sitting in a nice fancy restaurant eating cakes and drinking sweet wine. She is actually letting me drink it.

"Maka," my mother looked at me and smiled.

"Yeah?" I take a sip of my wine.

"Do you hate me for leaving?" She asked innocently.

I stare at her and thought about her question. Did I hate her? I don't think I did. She was my mother and I loved her. Sure she left me alone with an abusive dad but she had to.

But she should've taken her 8 year old daughter. An 8 year old daughter who cried asking for her mother when she couldn't find her in the house.

A daughter who got abused when her papa came home finding out his wife left. The only child they both had together.

Before I can tell her what she meant, I hear a shrill noise break through the whole restaurant. I look around frantically thinking it was a fire alarm.

"Come on Mama!" I shout. "Let's get out of here!"

But she just sat there. She poured herself another cup of wine and drank it. The rest of the people in the restaurant were also not bothering with the fire alarm.

"Mama!" I scream.

The fire alarm soon started to sound like a familiar sound. It was so familiar I started to look around.

"Just know that I love you Maka." Mama smiles and she begins to fade.

"Mama!" I scream and sit up in my bed.

I frantically looked around and noticed that I was in my room. I groaned and fell back into my bed. It was only a dream. I really thought I was with her.

"Where are you mama?" I whisper.

After another minute, I finally decide to get out of bed. It was barley Tuesday and I already wanted Friday to come.

3 more days of school and it's the weekend. I can't wait. That way I can just ignore Soul and avoid him all I want.

Quickly, I gather my clothes and went into the restroom to take a shower. I got undressed and stepped into the warm hot water falling down. It felt relaxing and all I wanted to do was sit there and sleep.

Yes I was still tired. But the thing is I'm going to become a human sized prune. I don't think that will be fun. So I quickly washed my hair and body and jumped out.

I changed into my clothes and brushed my teeth. After I brushed my teeth, I got some mouth wash and rinsed my mouth. I looked at myself in the mirror and frowned a little.

No wonder why Soul cheated on me. I'm not pretty or beautiful. My dull blonde colored hair, cheap shaded eye color and tiny face was not anything compared to what he really liked and wanted.

Don't think of him.

I walked out of the restroom and noticed that my phone was ringing. That was what woke me up this morning. I thought it was my alarm clock. Damn.

Once I picked up my phone to see who it was, I accidentally picked up the call. I gasped lightly and noticed who was calling.

Soul.

"Maka?" Soul exclaimed. "Is this you?"

There was nothing I could say. His voice made me want to cry. He sounded like he was in pain or he cried just earlier. I never wanted to hear that kind of voice. But he was the one who hurt me.

"Maka," Soul groaned. "Let me explain, please. If you love me."

That made me furious. Yes I loved him but he is using that against me. How could he be the one saying that when he was the one who cheated!

"Did you love me when you kissed her?" I suddenly shouted. "Did you love me when you were having fun with her?"

"Maka." Soul groaned again. "I never kissed her. Just let me explain Maka. Please."

Without a second thought, I hung up the call and looked at the screen.

10 missed calls. 23 messages.

I looked at the missed calls and they were from Soul. The messages however were different. Well some from Soul and others from Tsubaki, Liz, Patty and surprisingly BlackStar.

Soul was saying how he wanted to explain and all that gibberish. Tsubaki and the rest were asking if I was okay. It seems that they saw me run from the school with tears falling from my eyes.

That's not good. I didn't want anyone to see that happen. I texted Tsubaki that I'll explain later but she said she was already outside my door.

Before I could text back, a knock came from my front door. I answered it and Tsubaki threw her arms around me.

"BlackStar went ahead to school." She whispered. "You can tell me what's wrong. I'll be the shoulder you can cry on."

Without a second thought, I cried my eyes out. I held her back and cried. Soul hurt me badly and now I feel like I can't trust anyone.

"It's okay Maka," Tsubaki said in a soothing voice. "Tell me what happened."

And like that, we missed morning classes. I explained my whole situation with Soul and she understood. She didn't judge me or anything. She just nodded her head and held me when I started to cry again.

"I know Soul," Tsubaki sighed, hugging me -again. "I hate to see you like this Maka. I'll help you stay away from him."

I nodded my head and cried a little bit until she said her next words.

"At least until you two decide to talk about it."

I couldn't. I can't bring myself to talk to him even when I get all emotional about this subject. I'm just going to end up crying all over again.

"Let's miss today." Tsubaki smiled. "We can go back to school tomorrow."

All I could do was nod my head. We stayed at my apartment and watched sappy love movies. I always made fun of it but deep down, I knew I wanted that kind of love.

With Soul.