Help Me // z.m

Chapter 31

Zayn played with my hair as we layed on top of his bed. My head was resting on his chest as I thought over what he revealed to me.

I realised I'm not safe with him or without him, but I'd rather go through this with him.

He continued to twist my hair around his finger as I shifted my position.

"Why?" I said quietly.

"Why what?"

"Why did you do it? Why did you start working for him?"

He stopped his movement in my hair and took a deep breath. But he didn't answer me, he only stared at the wall with the most painful look in his eyes.

"Zayn," I said softly and gently turned his head to look at me. "You can tell me."

"They need the money to pay for her."

"Who?"

"My sister. My family needs the money to pay for her. She's sick."

"What do you mean?"

"My little sister, Safaa, has cancer. They don't have enough money to pay for her medicine so I send them the money I win from fighting."

I was speechless. So I stayed quiet and Zayn continued to talk.

"Two years ago is when this all started. I was drunk that night. I felt useless. It was confirmed Safaa had cancer a month earlier that night and I was mad. My little sister was in pain, and my other sisters and my mum were overwhelmed. Being the only man in the house, I felt like it was my responsibility to take care of them but we didn't have enough money coming in. So when Chris approached me that night I was drunk and offered me money, I took it. He said all I had to do was win a few fights. It was simple and I had more than enough money for my family. He never mentioned the little details until a few months later. I started taking drugs and getting drunk almost every night and my family was getting worried about me. After I realized how my actions were affecting them, I decided to quit what I was doing with Chris but he said I couldn't. He told me if I did then he would kill my sisters and my mum and I couldn't let that happen so I stayed in the business. After a while my mum started to ask me how I got the money but I couldn't tell her. So after I had enough money for myself, I moved out and came here. They aren't in as much danger as they were when I was with them and I know they would be disappointed and ashamed in me for what I've been doing and I can't bear to see them look at me like that."

A few silent tears slowly fell down his cheeks. I knew nothing I could say would make him feel better and I honestly didn't know what to say to him.

So instead I leaned up and kissed away the tears on his cheeks and placed my hand on his cheek, gently rubbing my thumb.

He took my hand off his cheek and held it instead.

"Do you talk to them?"

He sighed. "No. It's been too long and I feel they would be mad."

"How long has it been?"

"A year and a half."

"And they don't know that you're the one sending them money?"

"No."

"I'm sure they're more worried than they are disappointed, Zayn. You're their brother and son, they miss you."

"I just can't get myself to talk to them."

I nodded and rested my head on his chest.

(Zayn's POV)

~ Flashback ~

I tossed my head back as I finished my last drink, then slammed the glass down onto the table.