SHE'S MINE → JASON MCCANN

00:48

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chapter fourth-eight |
J a s o n  p o v

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I feel like a fucking idiot, she fucking screwed me over.

I was naive. I should've known that she would have never handed over the codes so easily. I shouldn't known that she was playing her stupid games. No matter how much she claimed she loved me, she would ruin my relationship with a girl that I actually love. But for what reason? So I could be with her? I would never in a million years be with a girl like her.

I was just confused as to how she knew Y/n would end up seeing the video. The fucking video that was taped four years ago. When I would part all every night & didn't give a shit about anyone. I wish that Y/n would listen & understand that Leighton means nothing to me. If I knew of her existence four and half years ago I would've never been who I was.

I don't know what to tell the girl in the bathroom that's probably five with me. I don't deserve her, she deserved love and I was supposed to give it to her. She deserved trust...There was always some way I fucked everything up. I wished that we could be easy. Us, it could have just been easy & we could have fell in love with each other more and more everyday.

I know that sounds sappy but I mean it, I wanted her. Every time she gives me that look, the look of disappointment it makes me feel like I'm not good enough for her. It makes me feel like Zayn was right, maybe I am no good her.

I couldn't believe I was thinking thoughts like that. I wouldn't ever let her go but I knew there was someone out there in the world that could've treated her better.

"Y/nnnn?" I begged. I had my head pressed to the bathroom door. I felt like complete shit, my eyes were on the verge of crying. She wouldn't answer me but I  heard her small sniffles over the sink faucet. "Please just open the door, let me help you." I begged once again. The sink suddenly turned off and I lifted my head up from the door.

"Ouch!" She yelled, I grabbed the handle of the door but it was still locked, "Y/n, what happened?" I rushed. I was starting to panic, she probably needed stitches. I just wish she would let me help her and explain to her what the video is. If she doesn't open the door, I will have to break the door down, the receipt for the hotel is already a long list.

It was silent for a while and I used that opportunity to speak to her. "Nothing happened." I breathed, my forehead was leaning on the door while my hand gripped the knob. I was hopping in some way that the door would magically open. I heard her scoff and the sink turned back on.

I honestly didn't know what I was going to do that night, I couldn't go to sleep knowing she thought I slept with Leighton. I might've been sexually frustrated at the time, but not for Leighton, for her only.

"Please just open the door, all I want to see is your foot. Okay?" I pleaded, hopeful that she would finally give in. I just knew that she was done with me. Even if I told her that the video was from years ago, there would still be a visual in her head.